Free Upgrade or Downgrade?

I have to laugh about this because it's so dumb. DH is away on business and signed up to rent a compact Ford Focus. Got a great deal with budget rent a car, and was planning staying an extra day to go snowboarding.

Well last night he got in and was informed that they were out of compact cars. Great he says give him whatever they've got, as long as it's the same price. No problem. They say they'll upgrade him for free. Sound good right?

Well turns out the smallest car they had available was the Ford Edge. Which while, roomy and spacious, is a horrible gas guzzler. I had to laugh because they thought they were doing DH a favor by upgrading him to a larger car. When it turns out he'll end up paying way more in gas. Sigh.

And the lady behind the desk said "You need an SUV to go snowboarding. How did you expect to get there in a Ford Focus? It's only a 4 cylinder." DH didn't bother correcting her that we go boarding all the time in a Focus or Corolla.

Moral of the story? Sometimes a freebie ends up costing you more!

Oh well, at least he got a car. And he tells me that driving such a huge SUV, is sort of very manly. I told him "get your fill, we're not driving a gas guzzler anytime soon."

Revealing your Finances?

When and how long into a relationship do you reveal your financial status? On MSN, this was a huge thread about a woman revealing to her boyfriend of 10 months her $50k of debt. She was turning it around, and he was very supportive. But the question was, when should you reveal your financial life?

I guess from talking with single friends, friends in relationships, married friends, friends about to get married, and divorced friends, the consensus was when you get serious. Meaning this is not a conversation you have on the first date or even second date.


You can investigate their values about money, their values about their future, but there seemed to be an agreement that you do not have to reveal your debt or savings until say 3-6 months into a relationship.

Now this number will vary depending on how quickly you proceed through dating. Are you immediately seeing one person and you never have the exclusive conversation? Or if you are dating a lot of different people, and you need to have the exclusive converatsion that changes the timeframe by a lot. For my all friends, until their have cemented their relationship as exclusive, they definitely don't think total disclosure is necessary. For some this can take awhile, and I agree.

I mean if you are dating someone ever week, but still looking, you aren't in an exclusive relationship. However if you have a standing date and expectation of not looking, then it could be construed as a permenant relationship. At that point, I would say is when the clock starts to tick on becoming open about your finances.

Mostly because you are trusting the person at a deeper level. You've taken the time to get to know the real person, and not the dating persona. Also you've had time to drop hints and observe their financial habits.

I'm surprised that some people would prefer to know on the first date or would reveal such information on the first date. I think of it as sort of revealing how many people you've slept with on the first date or mentioning all the "bad traits" of exs you've had. There's a time and place for a conversation and it can be a turn off if you immediately put it on the table. I mean do you really want to date someone who just talks about the bad things in their past and constantly complains?

But maybe I'm old fashioned. So what is it? Should finances be revealed immediately? Or does it wait till a relationship develops further? Is it only revealed once the couple talks marriage (I had a couple of votes for this)? Or when it's obvious the relationship is serious? Or on the first date?

The poll is going up...and everyone can weigh in.

Hallmark Holiday!

I got nothing for my DH and I doubt he got me anything. But happy Valentine's Day to everyone.

I wonder when do you stop buying gifts for valentine's day? Should DH and I be concerned that we don't even have kids and we've already stop the "fires" of passion and gift giving? Or is it an overly commercialized holiday? Some call it a Hallmark holiday.

We never go out to eat either in Valentine's day. The service is bad, food is cold, and reservations need to be had so early it's impossible to get. So we end up usually going out as a pseudo -date either the weekend before or after. It's possible we'll go out this weekend for a "date" but I'm not sure.

Occasionally we'll buy fancy food (scallops or lobster) and make a romantic dinner. Just writing this makes me think maybe I should. But I'm feeling lazy and cheap. So my DH can eat roast chicken instead.

Do you still buy valentine's day gifts for your SO? If you do, and have a cheap idea, please, maybe I'll use it. I could buy into the holiday and celebrate. I might feel less guilty. Although my DH has class and won't be home till almost 10 pm tonight anyway so I guess we'll just go to bed.

Single versus Coupledom?

Is it better to be single versus coupled? Is it easier or harder? In so many casese it would seem being coupled is easier but then there are many cases where being single is easier. This week a prime example happened about what my DH's life would be like if he were single. Honestly I have to say it would be awesome.

But my DH and his best (single) friend entered a business competition. They are semi-finalists and have to go end of March to Denver. I mentioned starting to research the costs of going.

The Single Friend (SF), says why bother. We can book it at the last minute. I say, so I can work it into the budget and account for it now. Then set it aside the money. The SF why do you need to work it into the budget. Just use your incoming money. I respond that's because you don't have anyone else to worry about and save for.

The truth is that SF does not make a lot of money but it's all his and he has complete control and freedom over it. He can afford to eat out every meal, do any activity, and has no responsibilities for his money.

For example he makes $3k gross but nets probably $2500/month. He doesn't save for retirement or a house or anything because he lives simply. Retirement is not an option being a foreigner, house is unnecessary for the same reason (and his parents are giving him a DP), and so he has $2500/month to blow on anything he wants. That's way more than my DH who makes 3-4x as much but has to pay for our mortgage, retirement, college, cars, etc.

When you are coupled, you start thinking more long term. You are unable to just buy what you want when you want. You suddenly worry about emergencies, you want to replace your car if you have children. Or you worry about retirement. Or you worry about things like college for your children or how to pay if they are ill. Basically you worry more about the future in a couple.

I wonder though if it wouldn't be more fun sometimes to still be single? If I had spent my 20s untangled in a relationship would I be more carefree about money? I think so. If not in a relationship, I would not save for a wedding until I found someone. I probably would not save for a house because I'd be thinking more about where I could move or travel. I would buy less things to tie me down, certainly I'd have no pets.

So which is better single or coupledom? There is no easy answer, but it is fun to see the differences we have in budgeting money. And how being a single versus in a couple changes a person's perspectives on money.

And when I say single I mean really single. Not single living with a significant other or in a long term relationship but unmarried. Those usually have significant financial implications, but single as in not in a relationship, living alone, etc.

Vacation Spending

Well I got more real numbers for our trip. Not too bad, not super fantastic. We totally enjoyed ourselves and definitely did everything we wanted to do. Turns out Whistler is ridiculously expensive, but it's a resort area so they charge double what normal places charged. But by sharing meals we saved quite a lot of money while still going out. And I didn't gain weight over our holiday which is HUGE! I'm so excited. Normally I gain 10 lbs from a week of eating out but not this time.


Anyway we spent $667 on eating for the two of us for the week. About $84/day or $42/per person. Not bad. I had to average it out because we spent the majority of our $ in Whistler while Vancouver we spent about half as much.

So our running total for the trip turned out to be

Whistler $1062
Vancouver hotel $269
Dog Boarding $300
Airline Ticket $90
Food $667
Transportation $208 - $150 to/from Whistler by bus, 2 day passes for Vancouver
Gifts $50
Total - $2646 for 8 days

Now I'm happy that we came out about $500 less than I "budgeted" for. The biggest savings came from us not entering as many sights as we normally do. Many were closed so instead we walked the city, Stanley Park, the harbour, all free. If the Canucks had been in town we would have watched a game.

I know most people don't count in dog boarding in the cost of the trip as well, but to me that's a cost that always has to be considered. I think without it we might be more in line with what people spend on vacation. $300/day for hotel, food, transportation, shopping.

Now I'm off to pay for the spending portion of our trip. I have to admit it was relaxing knowing that the majority of it was already paid for.

Diminishing Returns?

Well since we're still on vacation, I decided to write about diminishing returns, as it pertains to our vacation. We snowboarded for 3 days in Whistler. Each day cost $77/day/per person. Unfortunately the greatest value gained was on the first day when we were excited and energized. Unfortunately by the second and third days there was diminishing value from being able to go boarding. Our bodies were fatigued, bruised, and hurt. We weren't as excited or energized. But was it still worth it?

Like any vacation, the best days are the first few. After that, many times you desire to be back at home, just relaxing. But you paid to "enjoy" life outside the norm. So how do you deal with the diminishing returns?

Like any good you purchase the enjoyment diminishes overtime. The only thing you can do is enjoy it to the maximum and before you purchase your vacation, tv, car, consider if it is really worth the expense. Is will you regret the purchase or truly appreciate the value gained?

Personally I might not have snowboarded for 3 days. However the diminishing returns is tilted to enjoyment because my DH loves, loves, loves it. He totally enjoyed it to the fullests and went to the maximum all three days. And because he has so few pleasures in life, this was a great success. He doesn't have many hobbies or spare time. And his time is valuable because of his income. So while I felt it was diminishing returns solely based the hurt of my body, I know my DH loved the experience. And that in turn increased my enjoyment of snowboarding experience.

Also a consideration we could never have this experience in the East Coast. They have no powder or mountains like this. So we probably will not have the opportunity to do this again for a few years. And this potentially was our last trip as DINKS. So while I might consider each day less return for our money, I've also savored our time alone together.

My vacation plans...

I want to spend less than $100/day for 2 people eating out every meal. We did not reserve a room with a kitchen, and while we might eat breakfast in, we are looking forward to dining out in Vancouver a lot. We dearly miss Asian cuisine and it's time to indulge. We're going to have everything that grew up with and no longer can get.

To save money I'm sticking 2 boxes of granola bars in my suitcase, 1 box of oatmeal as quick snacks. This is because we're going snowboarding for 3 days and we want to maximize our time snowboarding. Another trick I'll be using, is I plan on not drinking during this trip because I am in the process of losing weight and it will keep the daily expense of food down.

Today I booked our hotel in Vancouver for $89/night including taxes. Taxes were $16/night so the room actually only cost $73/night. The taxes in Canada includes a General Sale Tax (GST) or consumption tax. Our room originally cost $92/night but we got a $50 credit for booking a hotel room using a mastercard on travelocity. Nice deal, so 3 nights for $269.

For snowboarding, we're spending $1062 for 4 nights/3 days of skiing and hotel. This includes the 10% lodging tax and 6% GST. So we're paying $265/day for skiing and hotel for 2 people. Not bad considering lift tickets are $70/day/per person.

An added expense is our dog boarding. We dropped the dogs off a day early (today) because of the storm coming and I was worried about driving out tomorrow night to drop them off. Unfortunately the only kennel we trust is about a 1 hour drive. It cost us $307 for 11 days of boarding, not a bad deal because we got a 10% off for the number of days.

So our running total thus far for the trip
Airline Tickets $90
Dog Boarding $307
Snowboarding $1062
Vancouver Hotel $269

Running Total - $1728

Estimated Food $800
Sights $500

Estimated Total $3028, I wonder what the real total will be.

Senseo for Free!

http://www.sharesenseo.com/q5/1.jsp;jsessionid=A15D7A1764831389451A8834A126402E

This is a phenomenal deal. It will cost you $15 to get a new Senseo. All you are paying for is shipping and handling. The machine itself is free for completing the survey.

Of course that's not how the company is making money. Much like ink jet printers which manufacter's practically give away, the real cost comes from buying the coffee bags. Yep, buying the pods are somewhat expensive. However, I think it's worthwhile if you are in a household, like mine where only DH drinks coffee. It's so wasteful to try and make large amounts to only throw it away.

Because of this DH will only have cofffee at work. But this machine is great. It also makes tea.

We got it today, and tried it out. A day late for DH's birthday, but still he loves it.

Single in your 20s?

What's it' like being single in your 20s? It's a time when you are getting established, working your first real job, and making real money. However you are also encountering your first real expenses like paying back the student loan, rent, utilities, car insurance/car payment, setting up your own place, etc. None of these adult behaviors are cheap.

However, an important area of your life is meeting the right person. And in meeting the right person having a courtship, planning a future together, and eventually entering coupledom.

But the courtship proces is a long and difficult one. Because the average age of women and men marrying has increased it appears that people are becoming more selective and careful during the dating process. But because of this, the dating process has also become much longer and more intensive. People can spend years dating before marriage.

So what's expected in your 20s? Well the problem is that you have to be able to go out to eat dinner. At least once. Maybe not the first date but at least maybe your second or third dates. And if you are the man you should treat (so much for feminism). Then as the women you might pay for drinks. And then it follows from there. Unfortunately couples also go out to pretty nice restaurants, not just fast food. So it costs more than in college. Apparently it's to establish how well off your are.

All these extra financial expectations are hard to meet in your 20s. So what should you do? Should you try to keep up? Or give up entirely? I've heard from all my single friends and the thing is, even when you aren't dating, you're pretty lonely at home so you often go out and eat with other singles or couples just to be kept company. You also participate in more activities to keep not be alone. So singledom is expensive.

So pondering my friends comments, told them, well you're investing in your mental sanity. You can either go out and have fun and try to find "the one" or sit at home popping anti-depressants. Sure it costs money to but if you aren't happy, sitting there counting every penny saved with no one or even people to share it with is lonely.

I feel their pain. Of course marrieds in the 20s...well we have a whole other set of problems...

Christmas Budget

I've been slowly decreasing the amount we need to spend at Christmas. I now send a $25 Harry and David Gift Basket to multiple people in the family. My grandmother, great-grandmother, great aunt, 4 siblings, 3 aunts/uncles, 4 cousins, and two parents. The number used to be so much larger when I bought for all my neices and nephews.

But I decided about 2 years ago after we got married, that I would do family gifts. I felt more like a "married" person and grown up than a kid just sending out gifts. I never sent to my siblings instead we would send each kid a $25 GC to a store. Plus my parents, grandparents all got individual gifts as well.

Now we just spend about $750 because I try to give a gift around $25. Before it was a lot higher with so many individual presents. Also we spend a bit more than the $25/per family because for our parents we'll be giving out $100 GC to Ruth's Chris. Plus we usually buy something for our office, like a box of candy. It's so much less stressful than trying to pick gifts which people will like.


Also this year since we'll be alone together and at home, I'm thinking of actually buying DH a gift. Usually we don't but I may ask him to splurge and have an extravagent dinner out in Vancouver, but we'll see.

How much do you budget for Christmas?

Christmas package updated..

Well we booked our package for whistler. Not the cheapest deal, but a pretty good rate. The worse part about booking it was the weak dollar made us pay 10% more because the US dollar is so low compared with the Canadian dollar. arrgh.

So what'd we get? We booked 4 nights in Whistler at the Hilton hotel. Beautiful luxury hotel. I've noticed my DH has been less and less inclined to stay at cheap roach motels. Since I conceded this vacation as his 30th birthday present I can't complain. Plus we included 3 out of 4 days skiing at Whistler-Blackcomb. Combined price of the package is $1042 including taxes.

Right now the trip total is $1042 + 90 flights + $350 dog boarding = $1482. Whew, it seems like a lot, and we haven't even booked a few days in Vancover, eating out, and activities. I wonder if we can do the 8 days for $3k? The biggest expense of the trip was the Whistler hotel and snowboarding lift tickets. Snowboarding each was $180 at least. This might be our only snowboarding trip of the year.

I am just hating the weak US dollar. I remember when the $1 USD was worth $1.6 CAD. That would have made the trip more palatable. Although right now travelling anywhere with the USD is a bad idea.

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween. I guess my only little financial thing today is how many children are going to show up today? I bought two bags of M&Ms, peanuts and regular to give out. Last year I bought a box from Costco and I had tons extra.

This year I'm hoping enough kids come so that I don't have any extra. Unfortunately I have yet to have one trick or treater. What is going on? I used to be so excited to go trick or treating. I loved getting candy.

If not I guess I should donate the candy or get DH to take it to work. It's not the fact it was $4 for the 2 bags, but I will gain weight if I sit here and eat all the candy. Sigh.

Hope everyone else has better luck.

Cell Phones...

We're out of our 2 year contract for cell phones and we're starting again. Our Motorola Razrs have been pretty much dead for the past 6 months. But we've been waiting until our contract was up so we could just get new free phones.

Of course to get the new free phones cost us signing another 2 year contract. I wonder if it's worth it? Would I really cancel my cell phone? When we lived in CA, we only had cell phones and didn't have a landline. As we were living apart during the week, it was cheaper than paying for 2 landlines. Plus I was able to chat for free with my parents, friends, and family.

But the phone my DH wanted was $79, so he talked to customer service and explained the need for retention of customers. After discussing with him our reasons for staying with Cingular they agreed and gave us the same phone for free. Here's the Sony Ericsson 580i we got for free.

I guess as usual it never hurts to ask. But we do have another 2 year contract. Would I live without a phone? Probably not and if I were broke enough to try my mom would buy me a spare line and give me the phone.

She'd die if I tried to go without a landline or cell phone. My mom's paranoid, in college I didn't answer the dorm phone so she sent the cops to check out my room. And then she had a peephole installed because I couldn't tell who was knocking. So I consider it an investment in my mom's nagging.

Poll: Separate or Joint Accounts?

The poll for separate or joint accounts is now closed. Strangely the majority of people 65% have joint accounts. With 25% of people having 3 accounts, 1 joint and 2 separate. And only 10% of people having separate accounts.

I thought the number of couples having 3 accounts, would be the highest number. Because it seems like most people scream that couples need their own money and control of the money. Hence I thought having a joint account with my spouse and sharing all money was abnormal. Turns out it's not as weird as it seems.

It seems like most couples prefer to share their fiscal checkbooks.

To budget or splurge???

Here's the scenario...If you were remodelling your bathroom, and found tile you loved but it cost an extra $1.40 than you budgeted/expected. Meaning you had set your budget for $5 but found stuff you loved for $6.40 instead. This extra would cost you $700 extra to finish your project. Now you had come in and extra $200 on other items for your renovation. So it would just cost $500 extra.

Now would you pay the extra $500 and buy the nicer tile? Or would you buy tile you didn't love just because it fit in the budget?

Extra information. The couple is very financially wise. In fact they try to emulate the millionaire next door theory. So they coupon shop, and sometimes go overboard with being frugal. They save the maximum in your retirement accounts, have no debt except the mortgage. In fact their mortgage is due to paid off in 6 more years at 43. You pay extra money to the mortgage every month. They can afford the $500/month because they pay $1800/month extra to the mortgage, in fact they barely break a sweat.

But what should they do? Take an extra $500 and buy the tile they like? Or not buy the tile and stick to their original budget. Also they have extra cash in other sinking funds, so they can still make their $1800/month extra mortgage payment and instead slowly pay back their extra pot of money.

What should they do?

Part III: Splitting Dating Costs?

This part of the finances of an unmarried couple applies more to newly dating couples. I've found from interviewing dating couples, they fall into a routine where they both pay for things and feel it evens out. No one ever feels that one person is more put out than the other.

However when you start dating, I've heard from many singles it's tough. It's expensive and you never know how it will turn out. And they often hear from married/coupled friends to go on cheap dates. Which is great when you've already started more serious dating, but the reality is most people do not start out that way.

I think a perfect first date is coffee or a happy hour drink. Why? Because it's a cheap way to figure out if you have any chemistry. And if you don't it's easy to end the date while not suffering through an appetizer, dinner, and dessert. Then the next date can be a full dinner potentially or lunch.

But why is dating so expensive? Consider that most people will go out to dinner and have an appetizer, drink, dessert. Where I live, when all that is said and done with tax and tip at a restaurant where entrees cost $15-20 (average of chain restaurants), for a date you are looking at $60. Then a movie? Or music bar, etc. It adds up fast. But who pays?

Most men and women say men, but I question this. If both people are exploring the possibility of a relationship why isn't more the norm to just split the date? Why is the burden placed on one more than the other?

Our current roomie is single and he moans about the cost of dating. As a single guy it gets expensive to date. Plus even free dates like hiking costs him money because he has to rent a car, gas, and still pack lunch. Another cost of dating is looking good. This is more a cost factor for women than men. Having to maintain themselves to be able to attract the other sex.

So how did you split the initial dating costs? When and how did you switch to a more informal splitting of costs? Or is there a large disparity of income which makes one party more likely to treat the other?

Eating Out Poll Results

What an interesting mix of answers. It appears that there is a very even split of people who eat a lot and those who eat out very little. About 60% of people eat out $25-100/month, while 25% of people eat out $100-200/month. But 4% of people spend over $200/month while 8% never eat out at all.

I guess it depends on where you live, and what point in your life you are. The lifestyle choices are probably shaped due to interesting circumstances. I know that Fabulously Broke in the City a guest poster, lives out of a hotel room without an apartment. Because of this I can guess they eat out more than average. But they save tons of money by not paying rent or mortgage. A very neat lifestyle.

I am rather impressed by the results of the poll. It seems not that many people are indulging in eating out as polls of the average americans would claim.

Living on $25/week Groceries?

Can it be done? Yes, but is it fun? No. Is it healthy? That's sort of a major toss up on what defines healthy. First off to live on $25/week for 2 people you really need to take vitamins. We lived like this when we first meet in 2000 because we were pretty broke.

Our income just barely covered all our bills and I had student loans about $10k that I wanted to pay off in 1 year and I did. DH made $18k gross, I made $30k gross, and our rent at the time was $1100/month for 1 bd. Hey Southern CA was and still is expensive. After taxes, looking at our old paystubs DH cleared I believe $500/bimonthly and I cleared $600/bimonthly.

We also had a car loan of $150/month, high car insurance because we were independent 20 and 22 year olds with full covereage = $300/month and no other way to get to school/work. If you live in So CA, you'll understand when I say there is no public transit. So after paying all our bills, I used to budget $25/week for the two of us.

For one thing our menu rarely changed and we ate a lot of the same food. We ate a ton of pasta, tomato sauce, and ground beef. All of it was bought at costco. For variation when Chicken breast was $1.69/lb we bought that. This was our staple meal. To add vegetables we would buy either canned or frozen veggies and throw it in. We ate this about 3-4x week for lunch/dinner. Another cheap meal was rice, chinese veggies, and pork pieces. We would stir fry the pork in black bean sauce, soy sauce + sugar. We didn't eat anything else, in case we didn't make enough dinner for leftovers, our lunches were packaged noodles.

To me coupon shopping did not help because we didn't buy any prepackaged foods (too expensive). We bought tomato sauce (prego), ground beef, chicken, and pasta. There also weren't coupons for chinese veggies, rice, etc. This was the most economical shopping.

We planned our menus, shopped solely from a list, and stuck to $25/week cash. If it went a penny over we returned it. During this time we also had a lot of free food from school, friends were generous and invited us over, and when our parents visited they would graciously fill our freezer with meat.

I don't reccomend eating this way long term. I don't think it provides enough nutrients and vitamins for the daily requirements. Personally we would have cut cable if we had it, didn't have cell phones, only a home phone, shared internet with neighbors. So our only flexibility in the budget was food. As our income increased it was the first area we immediately increased. Also we probably could have spent more if we weren't trying to pay off a school loan and save a cash EF. Turns out our savings allowed us to buy a house 2 years later.

Now I guess we spend $150/month per person on groceries. We eat very luxuriously and I admit it. I buy steak, seafood, lobster, chicken, cheese, fresh veggies and fruits, pretty much anything DH desires. I still don't buy much prepackaged foods, but I do buy expensive staples. How do I justify it? Well DH says he'd rather eat good food and not watch cable than eat crap food and watch tv.

Do finances affect friendships?

Do finances affect friendships? I think it does. The people you socialize with plays a large role in whether you attempt to keep up with the joneses (KUWJ). This weekend I had a glimpse of different circles of friends and KUWJ.

When we lived in the West Coast most of our friend were just like us. They had just finished school and were starting to work, or going on to graduate/professional schools so they were broke. No one in our circle had any money. Hence, hanging out mostly consisted of free or cheap activites. We often had potlucks for lunch/dinner at our house with friends bringing food and beer. We would sit and watch a movie or play video games. Going out to bars, clubs, movies, restaurants were major luxuries in those days. But we often saw our friends every weekend, even sometimes during the week days.

When we moved to the East Coast, we had moved into a different financial situation and were able to afford a better lifestyle. However due to self-imposed budgetary constraints we chose to live a lesser lifestyle in hopes of saving for retirement, paying for tuition, and having children. Unfortunately this meant turning down people's offer of eating out for lunch and dinner quite often. My DH made during these past two years of brown bagging lunch everyday and so did I. We also ate out infrequently during the weekend, and we still don't go to the movies, sporting events, etc. For us those things are still luxuries, which we plan for and go to, but just frequently.

Yesterday we had a BBQ at our house, and our friends enjoyed themselves. However, most of them do not cook, nor do they really live in large apartments for entertaining. Instead live a very trendy and hip lifestyle of eating out pretty much every meal. Thus reciprocating will be them inviting us to eat out at a cool place and splitting the bill. Realize that these are mostly 30-something people who work and make a great salary. They are well able to afford any lifestyle they choose, especially since none of them have kids. Some are single (after divorces), some are married.

Thus, I guess I realized that we haven't changed all that much from our frugal student days. And I guess it's part of the reason we haven't made any close friends out here is that we don't socialize as much. What we have in common with these new friends is less. But we could build deeper friendships if we hung out with these people more. But that would require us to change our lifestyle and I'm not ready to KUWJ.

So do finances affect your friendships? I wonder if I can find other frugal friends? Our new roomie appreciates our frugalness because he's still a post-doc. So we often eat at home and going out is a treat.

So definitely finances affects our friendships...

Single or Married Life?

I had a fun weekend. It was enjoyable seeing my brother and cousin. They are about the same age born 3 years apart on the same day, with my brother being the elder. But they live two very different lifestyles and it pretty cool to be able to observe the differences.

First my brother is married with one child, townhouse, and a stay at home wife. He lives in the suburbs and is planning on selling his townhouse and buying a single family home in the country with a yard. They have a 10 year old Jeep and 3 year old Acura TSX. They eat out maybe once a week but in general stay at home with their 2 year old son. My brother's one indulgence is a Harley he bought right before he got married, although there was talk of him selling it since he rarely rides it. For the record he's only been married about 3 years so marriage hit him late.

Then my cousin is a 35 year old divorced, single guy who lives in the city in a very trendy neighborhood. He owns a 700 sq ft loft style condo without a parking spot, but is walking distance to public transit and many restaurants. Within the last week he bought a 2007 Chevy Corvette and enjoys going out with friends and family. I think he's lonely, so he's always hanging out.

I can definitely see the benefits of both. However many single people talk about how married couples save money by being married. The biggest money saver I can tell is they no longer feel the need to go out and do activities with other single or married friends. They have a companion to stay at home with for free. But single people often hate going home to an empty house and will instead have dinner out, or go to a movie, or coffee, bar, pretty much anything.

Second I think that single people unfortunately also are still are working on maintaining their attractability to the other sex (or same). Where they buy new clothes, date, work out a lot, etc. This is natural and unfortunately I think can become quite expensive.

However singles also get things their way. They make all their own financial decisions, they have no joint financial goals. They are the only ones controlling the purse strings. My cousin decided to buy his dream car now because he can afford it, has no future wife or kids. It strangely I think paralleled my brother's purchase of the Harley. While single they were or are able to indulge in spending money, that would never happen to a married person.

The married person would have to consult with their spouse. They would have to ask the question is this purchase selfish? What does it contribute to our goals?

So when I'm questioned by friends is it better to be married or single? I'm still debating. I love being married, but I can definitely see the good points of being single. I also can see why singles complain about spending more money than married couples. But I also realize that married couples make more sacrifices for marriage and money.