Thursday, November 29, 2007

Wedding Registeries - Cash only?

Is it tacky to register for cash for your wedding? This question was raised on the WIR message board. My answer "Of course." It is super tacky to register for only cash.

Yes, the couple might be able to use cash for a house downpayment or honeymoon. Or they already have enough things for the house. But honestly charging your guests to come to your wedding/reception seems to me in poor taste and tacky.

A woman wanted to know if it were rude to register online for cash only gifts. Using a site such as Answer from most people was yes. Especially since most people said it's the perogative of the attendee to give a gift.

My main argument against such a registry is there often is a minimum set, such as $25 or $50. What happens if the person doesn't want to "gift" you with $25 or $50? Then perhaps they should give the happy couple nothing.

But what if the happy couple complain? My answer, why did you invite those people in the first place? If you want someone at the wedding whether or not they give you an expensive gift or cash, shouldn't their presence be enough?

Since when is it expected for a couple to get a wedding present? And to set a minimum $ amount? Yes it's nice to bring a gift, but if you only invite people for the gifts they bring, well why are you inviting them.

I can't believe the levels now couples are showing their greed about their wedding presents. You can be sure if I'm invited to a wedding where I am expected to make a cash donation, I'll still buy them a gift and for the dollar value I feel is appropriate. Not a set minimum amount. And this is extremely against both DH and I cultural/background inclinations where we give $$ (cash). And the present won't be as generous either because I'll feel it's forced giving. Typically if I know the couple reasonably well I'll give $50-100. Depends on lunch/dinner and location of the wedding, usually enough to cover our meals. However to be told I need to give $X bothers me a lot.

What do you think? Have people take wedding registries to a new level of tackiness by specifically asking for cash? And by setting a minimum gift amount?


Dimes said...

In my experience, the surest way to get cash is not to register for anything. Sure, you get the occasional useless gift certificate and a hodge-podge of a few gifts, but if what you want is money, don't register for *anything*. And it doesn't seem tacky, since you are giving your guests total freedom, which is as it should be, in my opinion.

Jim ~ said...

I think this depends on who you invite too. Our wedding we got a lot of stuff but I think we got way more cash than we even expected. A majority of this went to our living room, and I'm happy we have some nice things completely paid for.

Another thing we did was return some of the useless items we would not use. The stores usually give you gift cards back, so we used those for other things. Sadly though this summer my wife's purse was stolen and we're not sure exactly how much we are out on it. The deductible for our insurance isn't worth paying to not get anything back out of it.

PT said...

If this is your goal (getting cash) then just register for many $25 items at one store (bb&b is the best) and return everything you get for cash.

Living Almost Large said...

I just don't think that it's necessary to register for cash. Definitely don't register if you really want cash and the polite way is to have your moms/bridesmaid tell people who ask you'd prefer cash. But blatant registering for cash?

Myself said...

If you're leaning to only wanting cash, simply don't register at all.
If people call to ask, tell them you're looking for cash to help with downpayment for a house, etc.
We typically give a cash gift only for weddings, and it is in the amount of $125-$150. If we know the couple will be serving on paper plates and paper cups, we'll give a mere $50-$75, because frankly the dinner isn't usually that expensive.

Thankfully we registered. We actually got everything we registered for, although we had to take several duplicates back to get the other items we wanted.

Line said...

Two of the guests that came to our wedding only gave gifts for a value that covered their meals. They gave gift cards, that's how I know. Personally I think that it's rude not to give more than $50 because a marriage is a *hopefully* once in a lifetime event which is meant to send the newlyweds off to a financially good start, or at least a skip in the right direction. If you want to give a present instead of a check, that's fine, but for their sake we give money because we can't really know what they have or need.

Living Almost Large said...

Hmmm..line what is the problem with getting a gift the value of the meal? I mean why did you expect anything? Weren't you glad they even came? If so then why did you invite them otherwise? To get a gift?

Anonymous said...

You cannot ask for cash, period. Its greedy.