On another board someone asked the question, how do you deal with inheritances? I feel a bit uncomfortable to say the least asking my parents questions about their money. However I did ask yesterday about whether my parents have a will, they do not. It's a little frustrating that my parents are avoiding their own mortality.
But financial aspects aside, my parents really need to put down the wishes on paper. My grandfather was cremated though my mom and her siblings insisted that he would have preferred an open casket funeral. My grandmother does not approve of that, so he was cremated. But since he didn't leave his wishes known what can you say? I think my family likes to practice "avoidance" more than anything else. Same thing happened to my uncle (my grandmother's brother), he died a few weeks prior to my grandfather and no one knew what his wishes were.
Sometimes I could kosh Asian families on the head. They don't like to admit their mortality and the idea of discussing money is so taboo. So instead they leave their estates in financial ruin.
As for my parents with 4 kids, I wish they would have a will. I was told on another board I should ask my mom now for a few items I want before anything happens. There are two pieces of jewelry, not worth much maybe $500, which I want. One is my grandfather's ring and the other my grandmother's engagement ring. I would also like to have my girl's day dolls. These are quite expensive, but they were given to me as a gifts and not my parent's at all. I also would like my hand-sewn kimono from my grandmother. However these items reside in my parents house. DH knows how I feel about these items and thinks I should ask for them. I would never sell any of these items.
But if I can't discuss money or a will with my parents how can I ask for these things? It seems greedy like I'm expecting an inheritance. I just am very unsure how people deal with inheritances, especially inheritances that are not fiscal. Plus how do equitably divide it among your children.