DH and I were discussing kids more seriously this weekend, and we thought about it and decided we were still not quite secure financially. However the debate came up, do we think our parents would help us out a lot financially?
I think we might get away with not paying for childcare, our parents would both come and live with us for awhile and help watch the baby. We were also thinking that we wouldn't need to buy anything for the baby because our parents would likely buy everything. I guess I should add DH is one of two kids and his brother is not even dating. I am my mom's only child so...she'd go hog wild and I think so would my MIL. So what would it really cost us to have a baby?
We sat and talked more and I said, well what if something goes wrong medically? That would probably be the worse case scenario. If we had a mentally or physcially handicapped child it would be detrimental to finances right now. If we waited and saved more money, then if that should happen we would probably be able to swing me staying at home, and paying for all medical bills out of pocket.
I know I'm sounding really dumb right now, but I wonder if this is a reasonable thing to worry about? Having a healthy child? I was quite ill as a young child and the bills were enormous. But back then medical insurance covered a lot more than now I feel. Should this be a concern for us? Do many people have expensive medical bills for having a baby? Also something could go wrong during delivery and would having a c-section be expensive? I know our insurance would cover most of it, but that would be an unexpected expense.
So for now, I guess birth control is still cheaper than having a kid. And we'll just continue saving and thinking about the right time frame for kids. We're still feeling pretty young, not yet 30 either of us. And our parents well they can wait, just because they had kids by 25, doesn't mean we should.
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Well, I've gotten flamed by one person who said that we should have waited to have our son until we were financially secure. I don't have any regrets (we were both 24 when he was born).
I have read many articles where they say that children cost so much to raise. Yes, they do cost money...but those articles factor in the keeping up with the Jones'. There are many things you do not need and for the things you need, a lot of it you can buy used.
I'm not trying to sway you. You both need to do what is right for you. For us, it really was "a moment" when we decided to try to conceive. We just knew it was time and my son is the biggest sweetheart. I would keep paying my debt off time and time again for him.
Good for you for thinking about it and considering all the scenarios before you try to conceive. The right time to have a child is different for everyone - financially and emotionally. I'm 28 and my husband is 31, and we're starting to think that we might be ready soon, but it's been a long process for us to feel this way. I agree completely with what Tricia said about how the experts who compute what it costs to raise a child include a lot of nonessential expenses. All of us frugal folks can raise a child for a lot less!
By nature I think DH and I are very cautious people. Also this weekend we discussed whether we were emotionally ready and mature for kids. I think the answer is yes, but we're very busy with our lives so we're going to wait for a bit.
Also we confirmed our desires to have children, and they do not have to be our own. I knew my DH was a great man, but he really confirmed it this weekend.
He said our kids we'll have either physically or through adoption. What does it really matter? We don't need to rush for kids because we know we're going to have them no matter what. He will love any children we have so even if were aren't able to have kids physically, I know we'll be okay.
We are probably not a good example of planned parenthood considering how many children we have and how early we started. But, I've heard Dave Ramsey say many times that money shouldn't be the only factor in deciding if or when to have children.
Nope, I don't think money should be an object when having kids. But I want the best chance of succeding at parenting and staying married. And arguing about finances is main reason for divorce.
don't let the "what if's" stop you two from the enjoyment of parenthood. I am glad that you are thinking of all of these things. But I don't think there is every a perfect time. My third has some developmental problems (a preemie) and he is such a joy in my life. He has not set us back financially, only taught us more patience and how to live and what is important in life, really. We were definitely not ready financially, but it was the best decision for us based on our ages. Like a PP said, I pay debt over and over for my kids. They are a gift!!
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