Frugal Causation?

What caused me to be frugal? I'm not sure, I don't think it was my parents. They instilled do not carry credit card debt and live within your means. But that could not be defined as frugal because they had very high means.

So I'm not entirely sure where my frugalness comes from. I was frugal even before I meet DH and he certainly did not help my frugal gene. Instead he encouraged it by coming from a cheap family.

My grandmother is a very frugal lady so having been raised by her it's perhaps where I learned my frugality. She would reuse everything, never wasting a dime. But perhaps my frugalness is a hybrid of my parents spending habits with my grandmother's frugalness.

I might also add for DH and I buying a house so young really disciplined us into saving. Not in a typical manner of money in the bank, but of living with less. We suddenly had to change our thoughts and lifestyle to accomodate being homeowners so young. Our attitudes were adjusted immediately. Typically people learn how hard it is to own a home with unexpected expenses. Learning in our early 20s gave us a huge jump on life. We just rolled with living with less.

So was our frugality a learned trait? Or one born out of necessity? I'm not sure but I hope I can maintain our frugalness for a long time. But it feels to be getting more difficult in someways and easier in others.

How did you become frugal?

Practical or Impractical?

We narrowed down our sofa selection to two choices. One a sofa for $899 from Costco. It is sturdy, durable, dark colored, and comfortable. The second sofa from a store is $1999 but is cream leather, gorgeous and super comfortable.

We love the leather sofa, but it's twice the price, while being less likely to hold up against the wear and tear of dogs and children. So the question now rises should we blow money on a sofa that will look like crap probably sooner? Or a couch that already looks like crap?

This will take more meditation...

Home Maintenance...

I don't think anyone should own a house who doesn't like to do home maintenance. I have to complain about this because my parents have lived in the same home for 20+ years and have not maintained it at all.

My mom blames the fact they didn't have the money, which is an untruth. Nope, my parents don't like to do home repair. They don't do it themselves, they pay someone. But they also do not like to take responsibility and call a repair person. Truth is that my parents wish a genie would appear and fix the house.

They have no idea what it means to own a house. Right now the house I grew up in has a leaking roof, a rotting pipe, tiles falling out of the bathroom, a broken window, mold, termites, etc. But do my parents care? Not really, in fact my dad says they should sell the house as-is. I get so frustrated because my parents don't care for their belongings. They enjoy buying stuff like cars/homes, but they don't bother maintaining it.

I think people need to really consider their lifestyle before buying a home. After all even if you have all the money in the world, if you do not like maintaining a home then it's not a worthwhile investment. Instead you will be living in a house you hate, not maintaining it, letting it rot. Then when it's time to sell you resent the house and the amount of work necessary to bring it up up to a reasonable standard of care.

My parents I might add are again looking at houses. They are hoping to buy another condo, in move-in ready condition. I personally think they are nutters. My mom says that we don't understand the realities of homeownership because we like taking care of our house. We enjoy home repair, not true.

She thinks that it is normal to call people to replace a lightbulb. Trust me, until I meet DH I thought that's what people did. They pay people to change light bulbs, garden, pretty much do anything. But I'm realizing that home ownership is a huge financial drain for people who refuse to view their home as an asset.

Guess people should be cautious before leaping into home purchases.

Hair cut expenditures

A person would think that a woman's hair cuts would cost more than a man's. However in our relationship it is DH who spends more on haircuts. On average he spends $16/haircut every 3 weeks. I get my hair cut maybe 2x/year for $40 because I grow it out and chop it short.

I was asked by a fellow cheapskate why I don't cut DH's hair. I used to cut his hair during graduate school to save money. But because of my efforts he was forever immortalized bald on his old laboratory's website. The day they took pictures was the day after an infamous haircut I gave him. I was new at cutting hair, and thus DH had a few bald spots. Thus he decided to go bald instead of walking around with rat bites.

Well after a few more bad haircuts, I improved enough to be considered decent. However after DH graduated and got a real job, he demanded real haircuts. Meaning he never wanted to have to take a razor and go bald again from my mistakes. Plus I suppose that having a real job it's necessary he looks decent instead of bald whenever I get careless.

But would I spend $200/6 weeks? Honestly yes, if I could afford it and were debt free. Sure I'd have no trouble. So I guess Lazy Man shouldn't complain too much. I think it's a fun treat his wife enjoys and they appear to be debt free earning terrific salaries.

Asking for an inheritance...

On another board someone asked the question, how do you deal with inheritances? I feel a bit uncomfortable to say the least asking my parents questions about their money. However I did ask yesterday about whether my parents have a will, they do not. It's a little frustrating that my parents are avoiding their own mortality.

But financial aspects aside, my parents really need to put down the wishes on paper. My grandfather was cremated though my mom and her siblings insisted that he would have preferred an open casket funeral. My grandmother does not approve of that, so he was cremated. But since he didn't leave his wishes known what can you say? I think my family likes to practice "avoidance" more than anything else. Same thing happened to my uncle (my grandmother's brother), he died a few weeks prior to my grandfather and no one knew what his wishes were.

Sometimes I could kosh Asian families on the head. They don't like to admit their mortality and the idea of discussing money is so taboo. So instead they leave their estates in financial ruin.

As for my parents with 4 kids, I wish they would have a will. I was told on another board I should ask my mom now for a few items I want before anything happens. There are two pieces of jewelry, not worth much maybe $500, which I want. One is my grandfather's ring and the other my grandmother's engagement ring. I would also like to have my girl's day dolls. These are quite expensive, but they were given to me as a gifts and not my parent's at all. I also would like my hand-sewn kimono from my grandmother. However these items reside in my parents house. DH knows how I feel about these items and thinks I should ask for them. I would never sell any of these items.

But if I can't discuss money or a will with my parents how can I ask for these things? It seems greedy like I'm expecting an inheritance. I just am very unsure how people deal with inheritances, especially inheritances that are not fiscal. Plus how do equitably divide it among your children.

Poll: Cutting Expenses

Interestingly I decided to end the Poll about "Cutting Expenses." I was very surprised that the first item to be cut when in debt repayment mode was groceries. People chose groceries at 45%, with eating out coming in at 29%.

This was shocking to me. I personally voted eating out because I feel that category is discretionary. If I were paying off debt I'd stop eating out period, and my grocery bills probably would go up a bit.

Eating out is really a luxury to me. Also I would probably cut stuff like cable and fun money before the groceries, because I see those as extra. I however see people's point that groceries are the easiest line item to cut because it's usually over-inflated.

But I wanted to ask, how much easier is it to bring your lunch one day a week and save $5-10 right there than cutting $5-10 at the store? Or bring your lunch everyday and save $25/week instead of cutting $25 from going shopping?

But perhaps all those voters can convince me otherwise. The people who voted groceries probably don't eat out at all.

New Mortgage Poll

Created a new poll about your mortgage!

Delayed Gratification?

Last night over dinner I was discussing with our new house guest whether we should have enjoyed our 20s more or if we spent it too conservatively saving and being responsible. He told me that he's enjoying his money, freedom, and time now because when you are 40+ you won't be able to backpack everywhere and travel.

I mulled this over and decided he's right. He's seen pretty much everywhere, but has no money saved, no assets, no debt. He's a very frugal guy, and travels as cheaply as possible. But it still takes a lot of money. If you asked him what he spend on traveling, I think over the last 7 years at least $10-15k/year on traveling.

Now while I believe that I could never have spent that much on travelling even if I had, the money, I wonder if my reluctance to be a wild 20-something didn't stem from meeting my soul mate? Thus I felt that I needed to grow up, save for a wedding, house, car, children. That my future seemed more realistic and tangible than my friend's?

That perhaps if he were dating or in a serious relationship, that he would not be able to just travel? I mean if his future wife said I'd like to buy a car or a house, he probably would have to sacrifice a few annual trips. So is it really that some people are carefree and others are not?

Or is it that some people already have a life plan in their 20s, a person to share their life with, and thus are unable to really let go and enjoy their money? I mean if we didn't buy a house, cars, and wedding, we could have travelled the world already. But would I be happy worrying about having kids, college, retirement, etc right now if I had done that? Would I feel as though I had really grown during my 20s or wasted it?

I haven't quite figured it out yet. But I think my wandering soul meet the right person a bit early so I was unable to really spend money carefree.

Helping children out?

How much help should you give your children? Where do you draw the line?

With DH's best friend living with us, he's going through the debate over whether to buy or rent. Usually it's a pretty simple answer. Buy if you plan on staying put but rent if not. But the unknown factor in the equation is what if your parents were to "gift" you with the cash for a DP? Would that affect one's decision to buy?

I think it would. After all you are mitigating risk by not having to supply the cash. You are reaping potentially reward with minimal loss. And you have an opporunity to get started with life faster. But the truth is it a good idea for a parent to give such a gift?

I know this guy and his parents can afford it easily. But I don't think they should give him the gift because honestly I don't feel he's a very responsible guy. He's a nice guy, but he's 30 and hasn't saved at all for retirement. Instead he travels and spends all his money. He doesn't have any debts, but he also has no assets. Part of it is the expectation of having an inheritence, which is not a bad thing.

But I wonder if this is the right way to "gift" your children with money? Should you help them out? What would be a better solution? I'm interested because I wonder if DH and I will be in that position one day?

Discarding furniture...

Today we were in Costco just getting a couple of items and we saw a couch. Now we have been saying we wanted a couch for 2 years now since we moved into our new place. But we've never been able to find something that fits, we like, and is in the right price range.

The couch we saw was $1019 for a sectional sofa. The fabric seemed sturdy (microfiber), it was comfortable, and the size appeared to be the right dimensions. We have to go back and measure it more to see if it fits in the doorway.

But how do you buy furniture? For us it's been a real struggle buying furniture and since we've moved in we didn't really add much more than a spare bed and TV. Which is crazy when you consider we went from 570 sq ft to 1800 sq ft. We have the same bed, couch, couple of dressers, etc.

Our house is definitely barren looking. I feel that furniture is meant to be kept a long time. Or at least our super frugal parents keep warning me don't buy furniture. You have to keep it 30 years. DH for once, says if we hate it in 5 years or it breaks we can get rid of it. But who really gets rid of their couch, dining set, bedroom furniture if it no longer fits (because they move) or it breaks? Isn't it supposed to last a lifetime? Thus the dated look of people's furniture?

Philosophically it's only $1k, and we spend more eating out annually or on our dogs. But we do have a couch that works and so I quantify this desire as a want, not a need. But granted it only really seats two people and so with our new roomie, we do need to pull up a dinner chair to sit watching tv together.

But perhaps I'm being way to stingy and cheap by thinking that we have to keep our stuff until it breaks? Maybe DH is right, we buy the furniture that fits our needs as we can afford it. I don't know, I guess I'll have to mull this choice of discarding perfectly good furniture.

To put it into perspective, it's like getting rid of a perfectly great car because your family no longer fits in it, but it's hard to part with because the only justification to ditch it is the size.

Books, a waste of money?

I've discussed with friends what are disposable income items which you buy? One of the top purchases is obviously clothes. But it can be difficult sometimes to distinguish how extra clothes are because for many people there is a certain look they need to achieve for work.

However one disposable item that people seem to always buy is books. I just bought the Harry Potter book 7 last night and it cost $22. Which seems insane to me. But this is the one book I just had to have. However for the most part I don't buy books.

I'm a huge fan of the public library being an avid reader. I borrow books all the time. I can honestly say the last book I bought for pleasure, not school etc, was the last Harry Potter book 6. But bookstores are still making a living and I often go sit in a book store and read for hours. So I can see people buying books. I wonder why people don't use the library more? Or buy used books from the library for 25 cents?

Are books the biggest use of disposable income? The argument can be made for eating out, except by many single people who tell me it's for counteracting loneliness, dating, and saves them money from buying food that rots. So eating out depends on person. But books are they a waste of money?

Harry Potter Book 7!

Harry Potter came out today. Awesome. I'm done with the book, I picked it up yesterday at midnight. Read a bit, went to bed and finished it this morning.

Concession sneakage...

I bought a couple of tickets to the movie Transformers. For the record it wasn't a bad movie, much better than expected. Also there were very few children in the theater, mostly adults and some teenagers.

I bought the tickets from Costco because they give you discounted AMC tickets for $7.50. It's a nice deal. We used to go Regal Cinemas and used the Entertainment book coupons for $5.50. Even better way to save money on tickets. When you consider adult tickets are now $10.50 fo anytime other than matinees. And ever matinees are $7.50.

Going to the movies is a rare treat. But I guess I should ask it is wrong to bring in your own concessions? I feel somewhat bad sometimes, but not all time. At the theater last night we brought in two sodas and a box of candy. Now I sort of feel bad because we probably should not be bringing in food.

But are there circumstances where it's allowed and accepted? What? Well the other theater we go to happens to have a Coldstone's Ice Cream attached so many, many people buy an ice cream and enter. The people working never say a peep, perhaps because Coldstone's has a deal with them. Thus I wonder is it really bad to bring in your own concessions if at some theaters it appears to be allowed?

Do you bring in your own concessions?

What I (we) do to be frugal?

Inspired by other bloggers being frugal. I had to stop and think if we do things to be frugal?

1. Bring lunch to work - DH now eats out on $10/week, but this just started 2 weeks ago. For 7+ years he has faithfully brought his lunch, as do I. I still do because I need to control my weight more than he does. Surprisingly I think it saves a lot of money.

2. Bike/Carpool to work - I've done both, and DH is currently carpooling to work. We save a bit on wear and tear on the car, healthier, etc.

3. Buy quality clothes - we bought winter clothes when we moved here 2 years ago, and we haven't replaced any of it. Most people add to their clothes, but not us. And if we gain weight we work really hard to lose weight because we don't want to buy new clothes.

4. Never shop - we don't go to the mall, we don't window or online shop. We go out for a purpose only. This way we never spend extra money. I hadn't stepped foot in a walmart/target for almost 2 years before I went in with friends. We aren't shoppers.

5. Track spending - new thing I'm doing this year. I've always watched our spending but it was trending higher than I would have liked in 2006, so this year I curbed it by writing down all purchases. It used to be that when our CC bill would hit $800 I told DH take it out of the wallet and spend nothing. Eat out of cupboard, etc. Now I'm not so bad, but I'm getting strict again about only spending what is planned.

I guess these few things keep us relatively frugal. We're not super frugal, we could be a lot cheaper. We used to be a lot cheaper, but it works for us.

Condo Hell Update #3

Okay I am right now fed-up completely with my neighbors. I hate living in my townhouse. I absolutely think it's a great house and love living here, but I cannot stand having to share my expenses and agree with everyone.

I want to the King and Queen of our Kingdom. Right now we're Senators not accomplishing anything. So we bickered and argued more about money. I'm tired of liars, cheats, and con-artists.

Basically the 3rd unit owner is all of those things. I am not fabricating anything. We're willing to pay up our portion of the retaining wall but he is refusing. What are we going to do? My DH again is being very compromising and decided to negotiate part of the money collected from the developer to be for the unit. This way we can move forward. I hate them and I do not want to give them any money period. I might have been more amenable earlier this year but not any more.

Why? Well they refuse to submit and itemized invoice for repairs done to their unit from the insurance settlement. So last night we ended up in a bitter fight with them saying "the contractor was too busy to supply a reciept." My mom always say if it smells like a rat, sounds like a rat, it is a rat! And the 3rd unit owner is a RAT! Something fishy is going on, but he is being a jerk.

So I'm becoming unforunately more irritable with each passing day. I've realized that I hate the 3rd unit owners and despise their lies. The 3rd unit owners lied about the gutters/downspouts. They lied about the electrical wiring. They lied about the money paid by the developer. My DH has compromised on pretty much everything, why? Because he just wants to move forward.

He says that we need to keep good relations with these unit owners. So tell me readers how can owning a single family home cost more and be more hassle than this? I have had to pay more money for damages to my house NOT caused by myself but by idiot owners. We have had to compromise, compromise, compromise.

This is it. I am tired of compromise. I even hate the word. And for what? What did it really save me? Nothing. This townhouse has cost us more emotionally and financially than any single family purely because we have to repair damages done by idiots. You have to have gutters and downspouts, but when the jerks won't pay for it, what choice do you have? Or electrical wiring damaged by those same jerks.

There is no way to get money from a unit owner easily and by "compromising" and allowing the association to pay half of it, the work at least gets done. But these jerks cause the whole problem which by the way they never ask permission from the condo, so the problem happens after the fact.

Thus living in a condo is a nightmare. It is pure hell. There is no escape. And without leverage and constantly trying to negotiate the house would fall apart to crap. There are citations for fire hazards. There is more damage done without a downspout/gutter. So what would you do?

Condos are too stressful.

Gambling..fun or waste of money?

I've gambled twice in my life. Once one night on a cruise ship with DH (one hand of roulette because we were drinking, we won $41 then went to bed), and once I went to Las Vegas for the weekend and played in this slots tournamet where you paid $100 for 3 nights stay at the hotel and got entered into the tournament. We had fun both times, but I'm not a huge gambler.

But it got me thinking. We probably live close enough to Atlantic City for a weekend getaway. But I'm wondering if it's worth the weekend? Las Vegas had lots to do with shows and just walking the strip. Honestly we spent more on a show than DH did on gambling ($20 versus $200).

But is gambling fun or a waste of money? Do people go to casino/resorts to gamble or just relax and gambling is a by product of the weekend? Do you have a budgeted amount to spend on gambling and when it's gone, you're done?

Obviously gambling is a huge money maker or else so many casinos wouldn't be around, and states wouldn't have the lottery. But is it your hobby? Do you enjoy it? I wonder if I had more disposable income if I would do it? I do want to see Atlantic City though.

Tax Ethics?

On a message board I read, I'm amazed by the number of people who incorrectly quote tax law. They claim to not pay taxes on items which I've paid taxes on in the past.

For example one man claimed to not pay taxes on his moving expenses on the company. When we moved cross country, sold a home to the company, and bought a house on their dime, we had to pay taxes on all expenses paid for by the company. Why? Because it was as though they had given us the money to pay all those expenses. Also we used a CPA and filed out tax return. The man used turbotax and deducted all of his moving expenses paid for by the company. I questioned the ethics of this and he never responded.

Second case, a woman claimed to not pay income taxes on tuition reimbursement from her company. At the IRS website I read and was told by the CPA that $5250 was not taxable but above that the reimbursement was taxable. The woman claimed it wasn't taxable because the tuition was paid by taxed dollars, thus getting the money from the company was also with taxed dollars. She didn't understand that taxed or not, it was reimbursement which would increase her income.

Third case was a person who claimed to have the still gotten the child tax credit for three children, though she claimed to have made $120k last year. Again on the IRS website it states that Married Filing Jointly incomes of over $110k have the credit phased out.

I just don't get where these people their information from? Are they using turbotax? Are they using a CPA? Why aren't they more informed about what is a tax deduction? I feel as though I shouldn't be as honest on my taxes because here we are DINKS paying a lot of taxes, yet not cheating the system at all. But others are making "mistakes".

Are you honest about your taxes? Do you use a CPA or turbotax? I wonder what percentage of people are honest while doing their taxes? Are these people just exceptions and not the norm?

Networking for lunch...

Well we've been hardcore brown baggers for the 7+ years we've been together. Before because we were broke. More recently because I am on a diet (perpetual). If I eat out a lot I gain weight. I am just one of those people, for whom I have to watch my caloric intake and excerise.

But DH is not one of those people. He can eat, drink gallons of soda, not work out at all and still be super skinny and healthy. For example he ate 6 dunkin donuts free from work (because everyone else was on a diet) in one afternoon. Came home and ate dinner to boot.

Anyway though I brown bag because I try to control what goes into my food. Eating out has a lot of grease, lot of butter, extra calories I can't afford (waist-wise). And honestly I'm frugal, I'd rather eat out once a week a nice meal than everyday.

But DH really has been wanting to eat out for lunch. He gets invited a lot and feels as though he wants to go. So we decided to budget $10/week. Think it's reasonable? But we'll stop if he gains weight.

Subletting Room

Okay so we're subletting our spare room to DH's best friend. He was going to live till the end of the month for free and then try to sublet elsewhere but it doesn't look like it's going to happen. Now the question is how much to charge him? Obviously with him here for 6 weeks our utitlies will increase.

We're already storing all his stuff in our spare room, and he has a private bath that is clean. And our place is new. Big deal where we live, a lot of places out here are old and not clean. But he's gotta live with our dogs, and he's not a dog person.

Question is our utilities are for cable, internet, electric, and gas are $350/month. Cable, internet, and phone are $100/month, with electric/gas being $250 (balanced billing). So the question is what is fair? Also he'll be eating our food probably and using our toiletries probably. Also since he doesn't have a car, he'll probably have to carpool with DH to work, because they work in the same area. But he's DH's best friend so obviously a discount is in order, actually we're porbably lucky he's paying anything, if it were my BIL we might not be able to charge.

What would be a reasonable amount?

Financial Wedding Etiquette

I was reading the WIR message board where the topic often comes up, "Is it rude to ask for cash for a wedding?" Emily Post/Ms Manners answer is yes. It is rude to ask for cash only. It is also rude to insert registry information. But many couples do anyway.

Now realize that things differ for people based on religion, race, and culture. So I try to not stick to the standard Ms. Manners answer of asking for cash is rude. It'd be politer to not ask but have the best man/maid of honor tell people who ask, "yes they'd prefer cash" or "they are registered at such and such." With that being said we got cash for our wedding, but well that's traditional where we come from. Also my mom had a "money box" to hold all the envelopes/checks from people. This is not rude, I did not ask for cash, but every wedding in Hawaii does it this way, and DH's side of the family totally understood because culturally that's how they do it to. We only registered for gifts from our friends, because both sides of our families gave us cash.

So besides asking for money, the next question is how expensive of a gift should you give? This I wrestle with, because many people give say $25/per couple says the WIR message board. But where we live, that won't even touch the cost of the meal. And my mother has always told me you give the price of the plate. Now she also said there is no reason to go to a wedding if you don't really know the people and they are just fishing for a gift.

So I feel pretty comfortable giving a $50-$100/per person gift depending on the location, time, and setting of the wedding. I also might add that for relatives especially my close family, I do and will give more generously but that's obviously because of our close relationship. But I'm curious what most of my readers do regarding gifts for a wedded couple? Do you give enough to cover your meal or not? Does it depend on whether you are close to the couple?

Finally thank you notes. The only thing I did promptly was my thank you notes. They were mailed within 3 weeks of the wedding. My mom would have killed me otherwise, she's a stickler for thank you notes. But what I've noticed is that for pretty much every wedding I've ever gone to I've never gotten a thank you note. I've never been told if the couple got my gift or not. I don't know if this is a forgotten tradition, but it seems like no one sends thank you notes anymore. Am I alone in wondering if my registry gift got there?

These are my few thoughts on financial wedding etiquette. Especially with it being wedding season right now.

We're in Debt blog

Found a very inspiring blog for those people who are in debt, it's called "We're in Debt" by the King and Queen of Debt. They started out 4 years ago with $150k in debt and have paid it off. The bulk of it $35k I think this past year.

What? How so? Well a very generous jump in income is where it all began. If you read his article "$35k paid in 1 year" the couple pretty much doubled their salary in 1 year. They went from $60k to I'd guess closer to $110k at least. I'm not sure. But with that increase in income it wasn't too tough to pay off $35k.

But they stuck to a budget and moved forward. That's the point though, no matter what your income you need to live within your means and move forward. Not everyone can double their salaries in a year. And not even lived a super extravagent lifestyle before so when debt payoff occurs suddenly tracking their expenses frees up 15% of their income. But it's a slow and definitive process.

Anyway it's a nice site and a good post.

Dental Followup...

Well turns out things got even worse. The dental office says I didn't give enough notice, 24 hours, though I called the day before. Which is fine, I should have called even earlier. But I still think $350 is an outrageous fee, especially when they have been holding on to $20 of my money!

Last year I had a filling done and was told to pay my portion of the payment as I left. I did this, but it turns out my insurance company overpaid and there was a balance of $20! I was never told this, nor was the insurance company informed that there was a balance in our favor (whose it is, not sure, but I think it's mine).

So I asked why they didn't refund me the money? The receptionist said because they were "holding" on to it until I came in for more dental work. I said what if I didn't come back? She said "Oh well, it's your responsibility to ask for the money back." Yeah right.

If this isn't shady dental practices I don't know what is. I called my dental insurance and was informed that I need to send in a letter informing them on paper what happened so they can investigate the dentist for insurance fraud. I also called the licensing board and was told to file a complaint about the $20 because they legally should not be holding clients money. What do you think the dental office is doing with all these overpayments by clients?

Also the dental office told me there was a sign, not BLATENT, but up somewhere in the office. They said that according to state law, they did not have to get me to sign a form or get me to even see the form and they can charge what they want. I'll be calling another dental office to confirm if this really is state law.

But for now I'm waiting for all my records to examine my previous bills, see their cancellation policy, etc. I think they are real jerks.

Dental Bill Outrage!

I cancelled a dental appointment last week. I did it because of DH's job change our insurance wasn't processed yet, though it would be eligible from his start date. I just wanted to confirm that the procedures would be covered and what my out-of-pocket costs would be.

The Dental Office assured me the would work on the billing later. I said no and I was cancelling the appointment. They said it would all work out and I was very uncomfortable with that. These were the people who wanted to do 3 crowns, multiple fillings, etc. I said no, so the receptionist said she would have to charge me a cancellation fee. I said "fine", expecting it to be $25-100.

Nope it was $350 to cancel the appointment. Which is an outrageous price. Of course turns out after I called my insurance company today, if I had gone, the dental office lied to me and they were not a "in-network" provider. So the procedures, 2 crowns, would not have been covered by the insurance. Instead it would have been $3k+ out-of-pocket. So the dental office blatently lied to me.

So now I have to go and argue with them over the cancellation fee, which I feel is outrageous. It is ridiculous that they are allowed to get away with this. But they are. I am going to call them tomorrow and ask about reducing the bill. I also am contacting the state board and reporting them to the BBB.

We shall see what happens...

Cost of Children...

Now we're getting really serious about children. I think we'll start trying to conceive at the end of the year. After all I was just called "old" by my mom! I'm going to be an "older" mom and I'm not even 30.

Well what are some costs? Well our medical premiums will go up. Instead of paying $32 every two weeks we'll be paying $55 every two weeks. That's a difference of $23 x 26 = $598/year. Not too bad. But I can't estimate what our co-pays will be because it will be dependent on the amount of times we go to the doctor but it's $10 co-pay to anyone who knows.

Second cost daycare. Will we spring for it? I doubt it, I'm thinking I'll work on my thesis stuff at nights if allowed and if not well I figure my parents and in-laws will be living with us for a bit. I don't plan on working once I'm done so we won't pay for childcare, unless I get a cushy night job (not out of the question).

Third things for the baby. Well since I've learned about couponing, I figure I'll be able to save a lot of money on diapers, potentially making it free or close to free. I know I should use clothe diapers but I'm not sure I'm up to the challenge (and DH refuses). Now how much does onesies costs? I'll say $3/each and I'm buying 30 = $90.

A couple of big ticket items will be the car seat, bassinet, and stroller. I'll estimate $500 for a car seat/stroller combo, and $100 for the bassinet. Are we missing anything I guess I might get the rest of the stuff used.

I posted on savingadvice.com today about the cost of children, and interestingly everyone there seems to think kids are really expensive. They doubted that anyone with 3 kids could be making it on the median salary of $45k/year. Yet on the baby board I visit a ton of families which are large are making it on that much or less a year. Are they really suffering? Do they really not have adequate medical, vision, dental care?

I am confounded whether kids are expensive or not. I used to think they are and still do in some ways. Like my lost wages. But in material goods and provisions, I now believe they are not expensive. I also believe that many people consider things like single bedrooms, cell phones, cars, college necessities when in reality they are luxuries.

So what is the real cost of kids? Are they really materially expensive? Of course they are expensive in terms of wages lost, less savings, etc. But do we really need to buy all these expensive items?

Carnival of Personal Finance #108

The Carnival of Personal Finance #108 is up at Broke-Ass Student. Looks like a huge carnival.

I submitted my review of the movie Sicko. Usually I don't review movies but this had a financial bent by being a documentary about the American Healthcare system.

Other great articles is "Don't expect a big pay raise" by consumer commentary. Nice ideas for earning more money. At My Money, My Life she writes about "Food, Money, Love". This is why my DH stays at home when I go grocery shopping. He buys without concern at all for money. We make good money = DH figures he can buy whatever he wants. And honestly being the child of poor immigrants, well food in both our households is the one thing neither of our parents skimp on. They don't waste, they buy quality meat, quality veggies, etc. We always got to eat good food, very well balanced and healthy. Not much junk food, we both grew up eating steak, rack of lamb, lobster, fish, seafood galore. Now that I pay my own food budget, I can only imagine what my mom spends on food a month! Holy cow sashimi every night for me and my dad @ $19.99/lb!

So as a foodie, I can't say I don't feel her pain!

Money down the drain...

I probably shouldn't write it like that. But we spent an exorbitant amount this week during my FIL visit. More money eating out, going to attractions than our monthly budget for food/eating out/cable. Arrgh.

It's so frustrating because I don't mind spending money on them, but I feel that my in-laws never reciprocate the generosity to us. They never send birthday cards, christmas, etc. They do not send us gifts period. We've been together almost 8 years and I think I got a basket of hand lotion my first christmas visiting them.

It's really because they are cheap, not frugal but cheap. They never offer to pick up the tab, though they make more money than us. They never offer to pay for going out somewhere, though they suggest to go. They never offer us anything and they know we're "starting" out. This has been a pattern for years.

I don't know why it still bothers me and why it's always bothered me. I guess I would hope they would make some sort of effort. This Christmas DH bought them gifts and dinner, but he got nothing in return. Anything even a card would have been a gesture, never mind they forgot his birthday 2 weeks earlier (again a card or even a phone call would have been nice).

I just get angry because my mom sends DH a card, and now that we're married a b-day gift (shirt nothing fancy), and we get a joint plant for christmas every year from my parents. Even my grandmother sends DH a card and a phone call.

I used to give my in-laws gifts every Christmas, but slowly I've been diminishing it. I've also stopped sending a birthday card (basically I buy the card and hand it to DH to mail to his parents). I haven't had the nerve to stop mother's/father's day because i do it for my parents just a card in the mail.

What is so wrong with them? When we got married they never once offered to pay for anything, not even an offer. We paid for the wedding ourselves, but still an offer might have been appreciated. Also my MIL asked if we were getting married because I was pregnant, and why was her son marrying me if I wasn't "knocked up". Yes lovely, I still haven't forgotten over 4 years ago her saying that. No housewarming gift, no gift when them come to visit. Even a friend visiting brings a bottle of wine or plant or something, but not my in-laws.

I know this is a vent, but I can't help always feeling like my in-laws keep taking from us because they honestly feel DH "owes" them for paying for his room and board when he was growing up. They have said as much, that they provided him with food, clothes, shelter. Now he should be "repaying" them.

Ugh, there are many other things that bug me about them that are not at all financial. But since this is a financial blog I can only rant about the financial aspect of our relationship with my in-laws.

My parents are not perfect, but they try. They try to be nice to us, and they really do try to show us they care and appreciate our gestures. But I bet I don't even get a thank you for this week. I don't get acknowledged.

So my total for the week if I guess $1k for everything and it went to buy peace in my house. My parents are visiting in September, I wonder if I'll feel like this?

Sicko..a review

Today I watched the Michael Moore (MM) movie called "Sicko". Typically I don't watch movies in theaters, but my FIL is in town and we had to entertain him. But more on that tomorrow.

So I am a die-hard liberal married to a socialist Canadian. Which is strange considering our finances. But I am a firm supporter and believer in universal healthcare. I believe it is short-sighted for people to think they are covered even my employer insurance. Why? Because imagine you are vacationing in Hawaii and crack your head on a surfboard. Then you go to the hospital, and are told you have to pay a lot of money, 50% because you are an out of network hospital, using an out of network doctor whose costs are considered "unreasonable" to your home state insurance.

Hmm...gee you'd be up the creek at that point. So how is it possible that people who work and pay for insurance would be so screwed? Well it can and does happen all the time. And the yet people believe a universal system is bad?

Watch the movie. I believe that MM overexaggerated the faults of the US system, but there are many problems. I also know he understates the waiting time for the Canadian, UK, and French universal systems. Being married to a Canadian, he says there are waiting times for medical treatments, but they can be shorter than the US system. What????

Well think how long it takes to get "pre-approval" for treatment? Or how much the insurance company fights paying for treatments? The film Sicko shows how much the average american has to struggle. But do they even think about universal healthcare? No.

Mainly because it's been demonized by the government. Truth is Canadians pay only 10% of federal taxes to their universal health care system. Americans pay 14.6% of their taxes because of skyrocketing costs of healthcare. Here's a link to check out. So if universal health care cost less why are using a capitalistic system?

But it does cost more in increased government taxes. Something which MM did not talk about in Sicko. Instead he focused on all the free care people receive from their governments. He did not address that it calls for increased tax revenues.

But why aren't we willing to change? MM suggests because Americans are afraid of revolting against the government. A corrupt government in bed with insurance companies, pharmaceutical companies, and doctors. Also when he interviewed people in universal healthcare countries, they said they care about society in the whole and not just themselves.

And perhaps that is the root of the problems. Americans care about me, me, me, and never consider the bigger picture. If we had a socialized system imagine being able travel anywhere without fear. Imagine not worrying about losing your job or finding one to provide health insurance because you were covered by the taxes you paid? And that employers would no longer be able to skirt hiring you for 35 hours to not pay you health coverage?

Things might change. People might reconsider their lives. Definitely if we had universal system less people would need to declare Bankruptcy for medical catastrophes. The number #1 cause of BK is medical bills.

I would not believe ever point in the film Sicko. It's got a major liberal bias. However I do think it raises valid points to be thought mulled over. Perhaps when all is said and done you'll still think every man for himself and socialized medicine crap. But at least watching the film it will make you aware what socialized medicine is. It will also make you think about how easy it is to slip from a comfortable middle class existence to bankrupt by the wrong medical tragedy.

Expired Coupons

I don't know if many people use coupons. I am but I use very select few coupons because of the way I shop. Thus I have ton of expired coupons.

So what I've found out is that you should send your expired coupons to overseas military families. They are allowed to use coupons up to 6 months after the expiration date at the commissary. Also they do not get coupons while overseas like we do in the US.

Anyway a good site to use to send these families coupons is The overseas non-profit coupon org. I just figured if you get the coupons and don't use them, mail them off. It could cost a $1 but it might be a nice gesture for those serving abroad.

Buying a purebred dog

Okay, I'm nuts about my dogs. I enjoy having our Bichon Frises, one we got from a breed specific rescue, and the other a pound. I think the one we got from the pound is a little poodle, and not 100% Bichon Frise, but I could be wrong.

Anyway we spent $300 on each dog from both the pound and shelter. Both dogs came neutered, microchipped, and given vaccines. What a great deal. Also both our dogs were somewhat older and suppossedly housebroken (they are but they choose to party in our house sometimes). We specifically needed Bichons because of DH's allergies, we needed a dog that didn't shed.

But we weren't interested in paying a lot of money to purchase a puppy. But I was curious as to how much it would cost. We never even researched the prices of puppies because I've felt too guilty purchasing a dog when there are many slated to die (including our Bichon Mochi).

Right now checking online it would cost us $895 at the cheapest, up to $1500 for presumably show quality, to purchase a Bichon puppy. This does not shipping. Now if we went to a breeder nearby, it would probably cost more.

Our neighbors probably paid $700+ for their beagle. And what does she have that our two dogs have? Nothing. We even got papers for our first Bichon Stefan from the rescue group.

So I have to wonder, why do people spend so much on purchasing a dog? Is it because you want a puppy? And it's difficult to find a puppy in the shelter? Is it for the status of having a purebred dog? Is it because you plan on showing the dog? Do you not want a dog that has behavior problems?

Most people I know they don't plan on showing their dogs, so why is it necessary to get a purebred dog? I do understand the behavior problems, but most dogs from rescue groups are carefully screened to have wonderful personalities and are 100% adoptable.

I can't understand spending more money on a pet, which will love you whether they were $300 or $1000. Our $300 went to expenses incurred by the rescue and shelter, so we were paying more for the dog's care, not for the dog itself. I guess it's like clothes, most people want the new designer clothes. Not everyone wants the used one.

But something for parents out there considering buying a dog. Please don't, at least not until your kids are really old enough to be responsible. And don't buy a dog, consider adopting one.

Amazon Sucks!

Okay I ordered a used book from Amazon Marketplace. Unfortunately I bought the book from a seller and it was an older edition. The editioned I received was placed probably "mistakenly" in the 6th edition area.

I called Amazon, and they said to report the mistake by email. Then give the seller another 3-4 business days to respond. Then I could potentially get my money back. I am super unhappy with Amazon.

Their customer service sucks, their return policy is stupid, and they basically are useless. Why do I buy books from them? I really need to get the book but I'm now going to be stuck paying full price.

Sometimes I wonder if it is worth it? These online purchases seem perfect and too cheap to be true, and sometimes they are.

Happy Fourth of July

My one day break from blogging! Happy Fourth of July!

Picking an MBA school?

Is it worth picking a top program for an MBA? I think it is. But I'm biased. DH didn't go to the best school possible because he wanted to work. For him (us), our situation made it necessary financially for him to work, and he felt it necessary to get more work experience rather than school experience.

He already has a phd from a top 5 school, so this degree while terminal is not his only graduate degree. That may have also influenced him to not go to Harvard/MIT business school. The fact his field is not business may also influence us to think it's not as necessary to go to the best school.

But our two neighbors both have MBAs from a respectable but not top school. They are also in the financial field and believe that the best school possible is the best option. Thus they feel that it's better to not work, and go to school full-time.

What do you think?

Carnival of Personal Finance #107

The 107th Carnival of Personal Finance is up at Blogging Away Debt. My article Cutting Expenses was submitted to the carnival.

Other fun articles to check out is "Senior Money Pit - grandchildren" at GRACEFUL retirement, awesomely brilliant article for seniors. I don't recall what I did at 15 with my grandma, but I suppose it's close to what I do now. Except now I have money to outrageously spoil her rotten. And yes I do, same with my mom because without them I would not be here. My grams is the BEST! And I always send her stuff. But unlike that grandma I saw mine daily.

And near and dear to my heart is "picking an MBA program." About whether to pick a top MBA program. Worth it or not?

June Net Worth

Our June Net Worth went down, mostly because I counted a new $8500 student loans. We overall increased our saving and used cash to pay for summer school, but we still need more loans. We also will come into more ESPP money next month because DH left his company.

I think these next few years we should have a slightly tough time of it with the student debt, but overall we'll be putting awy $25k/year to retirement, paying off $10k/year mortgage, and trying to build our cash savings.

Booze Budget

What do most people spend on drinking? I realized I think we spend a pretty nice chunk of money drinking every month. For entertainment/pleasure. But I decided to post the question to people on a message board. What I found was interesting.

Single people spend the most eating out and drinking. Their budgets for bars/clubs usually was equivalent to grocery budgets of married couples or families. Though it seems high it makes sense, because they are basically going out to find a significant other. Thus though it can be categorized "entertainment," I'd personally catergorize it as personal health. After all these people are maintaining their frienships and good mental health.

Then there is the category of DINKS. I've found that these people spend money, but a little more frugally. Usually they spend money less frequently but at nicer bars/clubs. They are going for quality over quantity.

Finally there are those with families. These people rarely get to go out, rarely buy liquor to even drink at home. They are too busy and usually have better things to spend their money on.

So after reviewing groups, I decided I don't spend a ridiculous amount on booze. I was encouraged to go out and enjoy life before I have kids.

But why don't people who have families have time or money to go out? Or enjoy a drink at home? I recall my parents having daily nightcaps before and during dinner. I didn't realize that it was so unusual. I guess we take after our parents who had daily liquor intake.

Want to weigh in? Do you consume alcohol at home? Daily? Is it expensive? Did you stop when you had kids?

Toronto Weekend Costs

We went over our $1k goal for our weekend getaway. We spent $1133.58. Not terribly over and I know exactly how it happened.

We spent $307 for the hotels, $120 dog boarding, $113 for gas, and $30 for tolls = $570. All about right, but then we ended up spending $199 on experiences like Maid of the Mist, Journey behind the falls, CN tower, Blue Jays game, Second City Comedy Show, and Hockey Hall of Fame. A bit more than predicted. We didn't plan on going to a comedy show but it was cool.

Finally we spent $225 for eating out over the weekend. And we also spent $100 on drinks too. What can I say? We had a great weekend and probably overindulged a bit more than we should have but it was fun. I guess I should feel bad but we had a great time.

Tip - don't drink and you'll save a ton. However, I was told by people who have kids, go out and enjoy DINKS activities. So maybe it's not so bad.

Guests Costs

Sigh, my FIL is coming this weekend. Fortunately it's only one week. Problem? I so have to clean the house!!! What am I doing sitting here writing on my blog? I'm stupid.

Then I find out about 5 minutes ago DH's best friend (FK) is coming to live with us July 12th. Right-o. Guess I really gotta clean our house again. Couple of things, he doesn't like dogs, but he has no choice in the matter since our dogs are family. Second at best I'm a poor housekeeper, at worse I'm an utter slob.

What does having guests costs? Well for one thing more utilities. I usually don't turn on the heat or A/C very easily. With guests I suppose we have to. Also more food to feed these presumed guests.

DH has decided to make me the "Bad" guy. Meaning he's going to tell his buddy you can't live with us forever rent free because of ME, the spouse. Yep I'm about to get the bad cop label.

But seriously how long can guests stay before you charge them rent? I've already cleared space in the guest room and closet for FK. I've put out towels, he's going to use our washing machine, A/C, TV, etc.

To best honest, sure it could be nice financially to split our bills 3 ways instead of DH and I shelling out everything, but we've never really enjoyed having people stay with us extended periods of time. Of course we're also not great about telling people to pay up. My BIL has lived with us extended amounts of time, and to summarize DH "Next time he want to 'stay' I'm locking up all the cupboards, charging him $15 a meal."

DH's bro sort of was lazy when he first moved out on his own. He didn't like to grocery shop, he didn't like to spend money, he hated cooking. So he'd come over eat our food, look through our cabinets, and literally "shop". He'd fill up his condiments at our house, ask me for spare, bring his laundry over so he could wash it at our house because he didn't like trucking it to his facilities. Sigh (you can't kick out siblings easily, nor parents).

But we made it. I have am in for a rough summer. Either we'll have greatly increased expenses or greatly decreased expenses.

Buffet bets $1 Million against US tax system

I always get into tussles on message boards with people who claim that rich people pay the most taxes. Yes they pay DOLLAR wise the most taxes, but Percentage wise the middle class pays the most taxes. How is that possible???? Warren Buffet has bet $1 million dollars that you couldn't find a rich person in America who pays more taxes than their subordinates! Yes I've been supported in my statement finally.

Yes! He gets what I've said for years. Rich people shelter money, get paid the "right" way and know how to pay the least % of taxes for income. However a DINK couple who make $100k pay more than average than the rich person. Buffet personally only pays 17% federal income taxes on $46M last year. How much did you pay? On our income we paid more than that!

Yep, the middle class people pay the most taxes. Why? How? They don't get deductions like rich people. They don't donate millions either. But there is a big difference between making $100k/year and $1M/year.

One major sore point with me is the Social Security Tax. The taxes on SS is capped at $97k. So someone like Buffet who made $46M would have had to have paid 6.5% on 46M if there was no cap. Well maybe if that happened SS would be solvent!

Another issue is they tax capital gains/dividends at 15%. So if you are rich (millionaire status) and you live only on your interest, dividends you are only paying 15% at most. Wowsa! Imagine that! You can draw $100k from a portfolio and only pay 15% instead of say 25-28%! What an awesome deal.

I guess for everyone out there who hates paying taxes think well maybe there is something to feeling overtaxed. Because the lower classes pay a bigger percentage of their incomes in taxes. Although someone making $50k with 2 kids doesn't, but someone making $120k with 2 kids often has phased out tax breaks. So that person's real tax rate is very high.

Cutting Expenses Poll extrapolated

I think I may have allowed my post to be a bit misleading. I should have written when in debt payoff mode what is the first thing you cut? Not for one month but more like 18-24 months...

So this is a long term cut, not a one month $25 here or $100.

Cutting Expenses?

People always come to financial messages boards and ask for help with their budget. They then proceed to say they should spend less on groceries. They are spending say $50-100/week for their families. But they hope to save $25/week.

I think that's nice, but to be honest it's a drop in the bucket and does not solve the problem. What? Well think about it. The real budget breakers are things like mortgages/rent, car loans, cable, internet, cell phones, etc.

That's where the fat is and should be trimmed first because those items usually take up larger portions of the budget than you can imagine. Why would you bother saving $25/week in groceries when you have a $500/month car loan? Or $120/month in cable? You don't even have to change your eating habits, in fact you can eat out more if you dumped the car.

Or if you over bought on a mortgage and pay 40% instead of 30%? What would happen if you had that extra 10% in your pocket? Could you afford cable, internet, groceries with that extra 10%?

If so, then why are people looking at pinching pennies for groceries when there are bigger budget busters that should be examined first?

Reimbursement Results!

I am very surprised that so many of my readers would be amenable to submitting reciepts to their spouse for reimbursement. Must be my independent nature that would never allow that.

To me money is money. Sure we can each get cash and spend it as we see fit, but to submit expenses to be reimbursed? That would drive my DH insane and would be the end of livingalmostlarge!

But the results of the poll are as follows

Yes 63%
No 33%
Maybe 4%

Carnival of Personal Finance #106

The Carnival of Personal Finance #106 is up at the Digerati Life. I submitted my article "Condos burn in hell." Unfortunately I just had to rant a little about my condo.

Interesting articles too look over are "Things are fine" by Boomie and "breaking financial illiteracy" by KRG.

Looks like a huge carnival with 91 submissions.

Are pet expenses also travel expenses?

Well someone posted that $1k is a lot to spend a couple of days away. I tend to agree, I won't know for a few more days exactly what we spent because we charged a lot and I'm not sure what the exchange rate on the CC will turn out to be.

But one expense I'm not sure other people count but I do is dog boarding. I don't know if this is common or uncommon, to others they don't include it as a travel expense. But to us every time we travel something has to happen to our two Bichons. So I always use it when figuring out what we're doing for our travel plans. This time we got off cheap and only spent $120. That's not a bad deal for 4 days. We usually spend more but our normal person was booked solid.

Is pet care considered an expense of travelling? I guess we'd get off cheaper if we didn't have to figure it in. Is getting a house sitter or pet sitter considered an expense of traveling?

Should I calculate it into any weekend away? I am just mulling it over tonight.

Lifestyle for kids...

Interesting on the LLNOE board I read, a woman asked the question should she wait to have kids (she's only 27), or should she just move forward while still in debt? I wonder about this too? We're not hugely in debt, and it's student loans and a mortgage. BUT I worry about money and time.

She got many differing responses about her situation. Most were suggesting she go ahead and not worry about money. Because children are only as expensive as you allow them to be. However a few did suggest waiting because she had over $100k in non-mortgage debt. The woman said it would take over 5 year to pay off this debt, so she was wondering if they should wait to have children. But they were able to pay their bills and "snowball" still debt now so they were not on that tight a budget. And they have childcare lined up with her mother-in-law.

However one opinion, which I really liked said, there is no wrong or right decision about kids. However picture yourself 5 years from now raising kids. How would you like to be raising your children? With a tight financial situation or less constrained? Would you like to have a choice to stay at home or be forced to work? Would you like new clothes or used clothes for your kid? Do you want a bigger or smaller home? Will it affect the number of children you have?

The woman who wrote this said that there is no right or wrong answer. Each person's decision is personal. And you and your spouse need to sit and decide HOW you want to raise your children. What it is you want to be able to provide, and if there will be financial stresses in life? She said she never thought she'd ever advocate not having children, but as a parent now, she believes that people should think before they leap. They should consider what they want.

The woman said if she could go back she would have waited just because she has a lot of financial stress impacting her marriage and children. It's hard for her because she finds it difficult. How she's raising her kids is not how she pictured raising them. And that is what is most important. How you want to raise your children.

This is something I wrestle with. I think if we just did the deed now, we'd manage for sure. We'd become extra frugal and really live to the bone. But we'd make it for sure. BUT if we waited we'd need to be less frugal and definitely not worry about money. Right now the decision for DH, not me, is to wait. He can't deal very well with financial uncertainty and says if we had a kid he couldn't sleep. He'd be worried about our bills, our student loans, our future. And though I think we'd swing it, I think though he's a risk taker in some areas of our lives, otherwise he has very set ideas about what we'd provide for our children and have as a financial base. And that image can't be accomplished if we had kids now. So I guess though it's possible, the ideas of family DH should be meet first.

Condos burn in hell!

Well I guess you can see I need to do a small rant about my condo. So our retaining wall issue is still unresolved. One of the other owner's is trying to argue that the MONEY, DH and I collected through our ATTORNEY from the developer is 20% his! Though he didn't even own the condo when she gave us the money. Also she was trying to say it was for both Unit 1 and 2. We never agreed to that! In fact we sent a letter stating exactly opposite.

The reason we took the money is there were three different engineers, with HER engineer stating the retaining wall could be done for $5700. Two other engineers said $18k and $20k. We also have statements from the two engineers explaining why her engineering quote would not solve the problem.

The developer is a shady, horrible woman. If you don't believe me she's had multiple lawsuits from contractors. Including a neighbor who was a contractor who worked for her. He showed me his lawsuit against her for $40k of work she didn't want to pay for, but he sued her and she was forced to pay. By the way she's a millionaire who doesn't even need the money, a radiologist that lives in a million dollar home. Arrgh. And she tries to not pay ANYONE. Including her engineer that drew up her plans, he came to us and tried to get paid, we said "NO! We did not sign a contract with you, the association did not sign a contract with you. PERIOD." So he went after her in court for his fees. And again she had to pay.

Right now it's not worth suing her because the amount is not much. She owes about $1k more for us, which we are willing to let slide. HOWEVER, with the other unit owner wanting another $1k we're not willing to budge.

We went after the jugular and tore him a new one. This unit owner DOES NOT pay his monthly dues on time, only once every 6 months. HE tore down the gutter drain pipes, but refuses to pay to replace them. He SAYS he put them up, BUT he didn't. He couldn't have put it up properly because he didn't put up the house siding until this summer! 1 year later. So the gutters even when he put them up were improperly put up! That jerk refuses to acknowledge that he's the one who caused the damage and should pay for it. So my wonderful DH got tired of the arguing and said he he would agree to allow the condo to pay 50% of the damages this piece of work caused.

You wonder why I curse and degenerate CONDOS! Well come and live in my hell-hole and tell me it's easy to deal with neighbors. Tell me it's easy to get anything done when you constantly can't make a decision. Please tell me that living in a house is harder? Really? Try getting 3 different couples to agree to a ONE project. Try getting 3 different couples to agree that ONE couple caused damage and the others shouldn't pay. Try getting one couple to pay up Home Owner's fees?

Last time I wrote, someone said that homes were expensive. Well condos are more so when you have to constantly go to a lawyer. When you constantly have to pay for DAMAGES done by a jerk who won't admit it. And if the repair isn't done well the house will rot. And you need to sue him otherwise. Try to constantly be chasing someone for money for insurance. Or would you just fork over the money like living in a house? But wait, you can't even just fork over the money and pay a repair person because still EVERYONE has to agree before work can be done!

That's the kicker of living in a condo. Why it's pure hell, and why only idiots like myself do it. I wish I had never bought this condo. I hate it, hate it, hate it. I pray everyday that we quickly finish our degrees, get a relocation package and move away from this hell-hole. I'm renting next time if we can't afford a single family home. I do not care what it costs, I'm never going to buy another condo. I'm printing this article up and I'm going to paste it to my wall as a reminder "Single Family Home, Single Family Home".

Belated Birthday Present!

Yes I got my birthday present finally. We decided with our upcoming trip we would purchase a GPS. I was tempted to instead ask for a bedroom set, but that's on permenant disability long story.

So instead I get a GPS system. I got a Garmin Nuvi 350 for $360. DH "paid" $180 of it for my present, the rest I decided to use my birthday money from. Yes I still get birthday money, I don't expect it at all, my aunt, grandma, and mom sent me money. I guess they just like to give gifts. I did mention to my mom about the GPS, which is probably why she sent the money. Now I'm going to have order her one too, usually when we buy something like this our parents want the same deals. Hence they same computers, same digital camera, etc. And not just one set but both sets of parents.

The GPS should be awesome. I wonder if I should feel guilty over the price of such an expensive gift. But then again last year I got a $300 b-day present that keeps sucking money every month so this is a steal. In case you missed it last year I got a second Bichon Frise for my birthday. He costs about $75/month for everything so it's a continual drain of money. Good thing I like him a lot! Though he was my most expensive present ever, and still is. I think he brings relaxation and pleasure to us both though. And we got him for a good price because he is a rescue dog but purebred. We aren't keen on buying purebred dogs when there are tons out there for adoption. For reference we used smallpaws.org for our first bichon, and petfinder.com for our second bichon.

What is the most expensive present you ever got? DH got an ipod a couple of years ago and hockey ticket this year. I'm not sure what we're going to do this year for him. I'm thinking maybe another hockey ticket or something. His toys have always been more expensive in general, but when I want something (like a dog) my one "gift" blows his out of the water.

But I'll let everyone know how it goes this weekend. I am dying to rip open the package but I'll wait until DH gets home to set it up before he yells at me for breaking it or something.

Carnival of Personal Finance #105

The second anniversary of the Carnival of Personal Finance #105 is up at JD's Get Rich Slowly. He asked that people post their best blog article.

I submitted my article "Jealousy/Envy" for submission. Something I think everyone feels at some point in time. The psychology of wanting what others have is normal, natural. The problem is being envious and only seeing the pros, none of the cons or sacrifices they have made to accomplish their goals.

Two articles in the same theme of what I wrote that I liked are "Can money buy you happiness?" at the financial jungle and "Money isn't everything" at blueprint for financial prosperity.

Money can't buy happiness but it can give you the opportunity to become happy. It matters to someone who is broke to get a million bucks, but to someone like Arnold going from $48 to $50M isn't a big deal. But that first million matters.

And money isn't everything like Jim wrote. Money means nothing if you have no one to share it with and aren't happy. You have to use your money to become happy, maybe spending time with friends and family. Being a scrooge isn't all that great. And like I wrote, a salary doesn't define you. At least it better not or I'd be worth 1/4 of what my DH is!

weekend getaway goals

Woohoo! We're going away for the weekend. I can't believe it. DH is finally going to take a day off not to study or work on the house. Instead this Thursday we take off for Toronto. Though it's just a weekend away we'll be spending I guessimate about $1k for the entire weekend.

Our hotels already booked through priceline cost $307.30 including all taxes for the weekend. Not terrible, not great, but we are staying in downtown Toronto walking distance to everything and next to a T stop. So I think we're getting a decent deal.

Next for gas it's 542 miles, so 550 miles one way. 1100 miles round trip makes me think it will take about 4 tanks of gas, 1 tank = 300 miles. That will cost about $120. I'm not sure how to calculate the wear and tear on my car, but I'll need an oil change when I get back. Then the dog boarding is another $120 for the 4 days. Right now we're running at $550.


Can we spend $350 on eating out for 4 days? I don't think so but we were planning on going to niagara falls and riding the maid of the mist ($12.50 per person), the CN tower ($25 per person), hockey hall of fame ($13 per person), and cathing a baseball game at the skydome ($10 per person). So in activities I guess we'll be spending about $120 for the weekend, leaving us $230 to eat out for 2 people.

Can we do it? I guess we'll see, I'm posting it here, because I plan on pricing our trip and seeing how we do. I think we can do it, but it really depends on whether we feel like indulging in our trip or not.

I'm guessing that we'll easily spend $230 which makes me sort of feel guilty, yet not at the same time. We've had a lot of extravagent trips these past two years and now we're back in student mode, no money and no time. Sigh. Maybe we can make the best of it.

Charging Rent?

Today DH's best friend is defending his thesis. Then he's moving up near us and is planning on staying with us. I'm not sure how long. I've cleaned out the guest bedroom, had the cable turned on, and on Friday a friend of his driving up dropped off about 15 boxes of stuff. We moved that into the guest room and it's starting to look really full.

But I was thinking, should we charge him rent after like 3-4 weeks? Is it appropriate? Or do we just let him pay for food? Do we charge him for food after 3-4 weeks? He's stayed with us at most 2 weeks at a time, which has never been a big deal. But previously those were visits, not actually living here.

I think he'd be amenable if he can't find a place to live, but is it rude? And should we even bother? And how much do you even charge in this case?

Also it's possible he'll find a place soon after moving in. He's not really the type to be on top of things, so I worry he'll move in with the intention of moving out, but gets lazy and doesn't. And I like him, so I can't just kick him out (no way DH's kicking him out). But I think I can deal with a month.

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day to all men out there. Hope it's a good one. Dad, thanks for everything.

Cost to entertain?

What does it cost you to entertain friends/family at your house? These past two weekends we've had bbqs at our house. Which was awesome and fun. I love entertaining, but my pocketbook says not.

We had about 6-10 people both times. Not a huge party, but not tiny either. We also did provide everything and did not do a potluck. I grew up with my parents entertaining a lot and going over to my families houses a lot. So I just like having people over because I enjoy it.

But I calculated and each time I think we spent about $75-100. Doesn't sound like a lot but it adds up really fast. Buying extra meat/food not on sale, but what I feel like providing. Also buying extra beer/wine for people coming over.

Is this outrageous? What is the average cost of entertaining at your house? Of course it's cheaper than going out unless you only pay for yourself. But I enjoy also relaxing at home. It's fun. Also this past weekend we went over to a friends house as well where I was observing their hosting and figured they too spent $50-100 easily on everything even with a potluck.

Because I have fun doing it, I don't mind. But I do feel a bit guilty for blowing our grocery budget. Do others feel this way?

Festival of Under 30 Summer Heat

This week the Festival of under 30 Summer Heat Edition is hosted by Matthew Paulson at financeispersonal.com.


Following the guidelines I submitted my article "where to put savings...". Lots of great articles this festival check out Uncle Leo's "How to find health insurance", an absolute must for many twenty-somethings. While not under 30, Uncle Leo provides valuable insight for people just starting out. Looks like a great new blog, check it out.

Also check English Major's "Living on a stipend". We've lived so long on a stipend it's second nature. Can't buy anything. Anyway we're living almost large now.

Dental Work Followup

I had to cheap out on my dental work. Turns out I only paid $45 for two fillings. What? Well unfortunately I sought a second and third opinion today, and both dentists agreed that I did not need three crowns. I did need one crown, but neither had time to do it. And I was having an incessant toothache so one of the dentist instead just did a filling as a stop-gap mesure. Sure it won't last forever, but at least I'm out of pain until I can get an appointment and approval from the insurance to do the crown.

So both dentists agree that I should replace my original crown, although it might be the fault of my 1st dentist. Last year when my crown fell out, a different dentist at the practice in an emergency glued it back in. She did not tell me that it was not fitting well, nor did it appear in my dental records before as needing to be replaced. I got my records (grudgingly) and showed them to the second and third opinion dentists. Both agreed that it was probably due to her incompetance that I need to replace my crown.

Also both dentists said that the 3rd crown was utter lie, because neither could even see a need for a filling. Thus I paid $45 for two fillings (one of which was absolutely necessary), and $25/piece for a second opinion.

Money well spent I think to preserve my teeth and my pocketbook. Initially I was going to pay over $3-4k for the dental work suggested by the 1st dentist.

What I've learned? Get a second opinion even if your original dental office is pissed at you. Screw them, they are in it for the money. Don't just open your wallet and pay. Be careful, you only get one set of teeth. Having them drill it down is not cool! Instead consider not only the costs but the reality of not having your teeth.

So now with DH switching dental insurance, I have to figure out which dentist I really trust. I don't feel as though I've found anyone I really like. I think I'll ask for more references. The two second opinions were okay, but I hated the office staff at both places. They were super rude and the wait was horrible.

Carnival of Credit Card #16

The 16th Carnival of the Credit Card is up at Credit Card Lowdown. I submitted my article "Best Buy 0% CC" to the carnival.

Another small and starting out carnival. The best article of the submissions might be from 3debtconsolidation "when is your CC debt too high?" The author has a few guidelines including no more than 20% of take home pay, can't afford to make the minimums, etc.

Enjoy the carnival.

Supersized cars?

DH and I laugh all the time about our cars. Sigh one of my doors on my corolla is broken, luckily it's the back door behind the driver. While the front bumper of his car was smashed in. And my rear bumper was scraped by someone else. I feel good about our cars because we're super unlucky with them for some reason. During our time out on the East Coast, in 2 years we've had 3 hit and run accidents where you can see quite a lot of damage on our cars, but NO note. My rear bumper, DH's front bumper, and his rear bumper. I just don't get how people can hit someone else's car in a parking lot and LEAVE! I couldn't just leave, I would never be able to sleep again without nightmares. I would probably be comatose from the anxiety that the cops were coming, bad karma, etc.

But we were debating again, do you really need a large car for kids? When we first meet DH thought we'd never need anything larger than his focus. He did admit with 2 kids it "might" be better to have 4 doors, but he didn't think anything bigger than a compact necessary. Both of us were raised in tiny cars, VW rabbit and bug. But I argue it's because we didn't have car seats but bassinets our moms put in the front seat floor. Yeah nuts, but back then people appparently didn't put much stock into car seats.

So I'm wondering do people really need large SUVs or minivans? I can understand a sedan because well our cars are tight, but anything larger?

I argue it's necessary depending on age of kids and carseats. DH says no way can you ever have kids fast enough to not fit 3 car seats in a sedan. I don't know if that's true, except if you happened to have like twins or triplets.

I wonder are we supersizing our cars because we're buying to the larger space issues? Or is it necessary. FWIW, I would love a larger car, but my DH is a no-go person. So it's not happening.

But I posted on two different message boards WIR and Savingsadvice threads and the opinions were very differing and interesting. I haven't settled on whether we'll jump directly into a minivan or try a midsized sedan.

Carnival of Home Improvement #6

The 6th Carnival of Home Improvement is up at Mortgage Lowdown. I submitted my article "Condo Hell Update 2". I think it just shows how much a hassle home ownership can be sometimes.

Another great article by silicon valley blogger is "Proof buying a house is impossible..." that is totally how I feel sometimes living in one of the most expensive areas. But I can't let it get me down.

Anyway this is a small festival hopefully growing.

Where to put savings?

The festival of under 30's question for the next carnival is "Where do you put your savings?" Well to be honest mostly in my bank savings account. Why? I do put some in a vanguard money market, but to keep things simple I keep a large chunk of change in my savings account.

I find it easier to have a lot of cash on hand because we have a lot of bills to be paid monthly. To leave my account always close to zero would drive me insane because I'd have to transfer money back and forth all the time. I guess I'm not disciplined enough to make ever bill the same.

I guess I'm just lazy.

Best place to put savings?

Where is the best place to put your savings is the question for the next Festival of Under 30. I am sitting here thinking about it, and decided, wherever makes you happy.

It makes me happy to leave a nice chunk of money in my piddly bank savings account earning 1% because I like the freedom of being able to pay my bills without transferring money. The rest of my money is left in Vanguard. Why? Because I find it just easier to leave it all in one place. I don't like having so many accounts, I don't like tracking so many statement, and I don't like stressing over whether I'll have a bounced check because I have to wait for the cash to hit my account before I can pay a bill.

Carnival of Personal Finance #104

The Carnival of Personal Finance #104 is hosted this week at Going Green. Looks like a fantastic carnival with tons of great articles.

I submitted my article "Children working". But other great articles include "could you live off one income" at my two dollars, answer is yes.

The other article I liked was "Buying a profitable rental property" By Journey to Financial Freedom. I think that investing in RE is overhyped and the demands are really understated. Most people think jump in, instant money maker. But it's not as easy as it seems nor as lucrative as people make it out to be. We'll see in another 2-3 years if people say being a landlord is great.

Doctors are crooks!

Yesterday I took the day off from work to go to the eye doctor and dentist. I needed a second opinion on my teeth, which I am still unsure about and new prescription for contacts.

So I went to a vision service provider, which I got from the insurance website. I booked an eye exam and went in. Once there, I got examined and then was told they don't allow insurance to cover contact lens fitting. I said well how much? They replied $300. WTF? Last year when insurance paid it only cost $40 out of pocket and that was because I wear toric lenses. Well apparently this opthamologist is a SCAM artist. He decided that contact lenses are cosmetic thus he need only accept to write glasses prescriptions. And thus he can charge people for contact lens fittings.

I said "no thank you," took my glasses prescription and walked out. I was pissed. I called the insurance company the moment I left and was told yes I could have gotten a contacts fitting, but since he did the glasses I couldn't complain because he had meet the MINIMUM standard and it was his choice to not accept insurance for contacts. WTF? Apparently it's bait and switch tactic at the doctor's office where they think you'll be to hassled to make a fuss and just pay! The guy is a jerk. I was really pissed and more pissed at the insurance company for allowing someone to behave like this.

Frustrating. Doctor's think they are God. They think that they are able to behave however they see fit. But what they are not understanding is that the medical system I think is due for a huge change and it's going to happen faster than they expect. What? Well for one thing it only cost $99 at Costco for an eye exam and contacts fitting. Next time since it's so cheap I'll just go there. Plus I annually order my contacts from costco.

But I can't believe the sleeziness of this doctor. Trying to rip people off who don't want to come back by saying that he'll only write glasses prescriptions. I guess I'll show my true blue colors and say I'm a die-hard socialized medicine supporter. arrgh.

$300 for just contact lens fitting! Pshaw! I can buy all my contacts for that much.

Condo Hell Update #2

Last night DH meet with other "trustees" regarding issues for our condo association. First up, since we flooded the downstairs unit and it was found that the master condo insurance would pay for it, we were off the hook for the deductible. So that was a nice starting bonus.

However that lead to the first point of contention. The owner whose house we flooded wanted to pocket the insurance settlement and pay for the repairs. But DH, I, and "the couple" are against this. Thus it was negotiated that he could submit reciepts for repairs or directly bill the association. Well see how that works out.

Second major point of contention is our retaining wall. When we purchased the seller/developer lied to us and said the money was set aside prior to our closing. Our attorney dropped the ball by not checking, however it was written into our purchase and sale agreement. Then she tried to not pay up and also tried to pay a lower amount than the agreed upon 40% of $20k.

Now the "brother owners" bought their condo with cash, thus they DID not do any due diligence, and failed to get a 6d certificate. This would have certified that no outstanding debts were due to the association, but the developer sold it cash so she didn't have to get a 6d certificate. She had asked for one, but we had refused to sign it because she had not paid our 40% and the 20% for the condo she was selling. However after we negotiated more through our lawyer whom we paid, she forked over 60% of her $6k estimate. This we felt was unacceptable because there were two other quotes for $18k and $20k to repair the retaining wall.

However, because we got some money from her through OUR lawyer we called the money ours. However she attempted to say it was for the other unit as well. That is where we are stuck right now. First she won't put up money for the higher quote. Which if it should come in less, we will return the money to her. Second, the unit she sold in cash, should pay the 20% of higher amount because they did not fully investigate the debts associated with theunit before purchasing. When we bought we were shown only the $20k quote and assured it was set aside.

Thus right now we're fighting over whose money it is. We're not backing it down because we paid a lawyer to obtain the money. So why should "the brother owners" get a portion of it?

What is the next step? I don't know, but this is why living in a condo sucks. I hate it, I hate all this negotiating and trying to make decisions as a team. I'd prefer just living alone and being solely responsible for our actions/decisions.

One day I shall own a single family home and be able to do what I want, when I want, and make all the noise I want. I hate condo living...

Company update

So a couple of things about DH's job situation. He took the new job, but it may be for the best. Today he got a very strange email at work asking that if anyone was taking time off next week please contact HR. Very strange indeed. He thinks and others have hinted that potentially layoffs are coming. And if they are coming, sure he could have stayed and collected severance, but this way he beats the rush in looking for a new job. When a ton of resumes are hitting the market, it's better to beat them and not look desperate. This way the company hiring DH was under the impression that he did not have to leave his company if he didn't want to. This makes the deal he got even sweeter.

I guess I should also mention the whole compensation and why it's a paycut but it's not at the same time. First he got a nice $10k raise in salary. But he is giving up a bunch of company stock. We're going to leave about $40k on the table, plus potentially another 10k in bonus next year. But the company he's going to hopefully will give him a generous bonus as well next year. But a huge selling point is the company will be reimbursing him tuition for his MBA program. Right now we've paid about $15k this year, and another $15k for the rest of the year. So that's $15k we'll be getting back potentially, which we will have to pay taxes on, but it will be really sweet if it happens. So DH figures what he's losing in income is being made up by his tuition benefit.

Another point which is pissing me off, his current company is terrible at reimbursements. It's been about 1 month and still no reimbursement for his conference last month. It really bugs me because we floated them the money on our CC, which I can pay but I'm just pissed that they haven't given it to us yet. I don't like this business of reimbursement but that's how it works for us.

Anyway DH has about 2 weeks left at the company he's giving notice today. I wonder if he'll be told to just leave? Or if he'll be asked to be "let go." One can only wonder what this evening holds.

Also up tonight a meeting with our neighbors regarding issues with our condo association. Can I mention again how much I hate living in a townhouse? I wish we could have afforded a single family home. Right now I realize I sound like a spoiled child, but it's tough waiting to be able afford a single family house when there are are so many people out there complaining about buying a $300k SFH.

Best Buy 0% CC

So we don't really do too much CC arbitage, but we've always done the 0% CC offers. I've actually considered doing it for furniture, but haven't been able to find the right furniture. Anyway though this month I just finished paying our 0% CC bill to Best Buy. It feels really nice to be able to not have the payment hanging over our heads.

The very first time we did a 0% CC we had the cash on hand to pay for, but it seemed a better cash flow purpose to use the Best Buy CC. We didn't make a lot of money and were purchasing our first condo together. We had pretty much scraped every penny to afford the 10% DP, closing costs, etc such that it was tough for us to part with our last $1k to pay for our washer/dryer/fridge. We preferred at the time to keep the little money we had as an emergency fund and charge instead those three items.

Turns out it was a good idea. Three days after we closed and the washer hose broke flooded the downstairs unit. We fortunately had home owner's insurance though we were not living there yet. But we did have to pay the $1k deductible. So our little cash money went to that instead of our CC. That's what got us hooked on paying for things with a 0% CC.

Borrowing money from a CC at 0% still seems risky to us. But buying stuff seems acceptable. I don't know what the difference is. DH financed his first car as well $5k, but as a foreigner it was a good way to build credit, and keep cash on hand in case of emergencies. We still have the car 7 years later, though the loan was retired after 3 years.

I've asked DH whether we're done playing with 0% CC deals. He says he's not sure he'll ever pass up a deal to finance something at 0%. Me, I'd like to be at the point one day of affording everything cash up front easily. It may or may not happen. I am not going into debt, but I'm not sure if we could ever part with our money when the opportunity to make more were presented.

But I'm not a CC abuser, so I cannot speak as someone whose experienced CC debt. Our debts have been a mortgage, 1 car loan (no plans of more unless it's 0%), and student loans. So for us personally our debts have been tied to our educations. Thus we've never lived beyond our means, it's just that affording the tuition 100% in cash, while working we haven't been able to accomplish. We don't take out any school loans for living, just purely tuition purposes. And we've paid for part of the tuition in cash as well when I was an undergrad and DH now.

So while we'd like to live debt free, I don't know if we ever will. Yes, sounds crazy, but DH is a major leverage fanatic. I wrote months ago how aggressive he is with investing and has no qualms about losing our investments. And the same risk tolerance is applied to our debt/leverage. I don't think he'd leverage us broke, but he would be willing to gamble.

Our next 0% purchase, I forsee maybe furniture, maybe a car but who knows.

May 2007 Networth Update

We increased our networth by almost $17k in May or 8.63%. But most of that money was from cashing out the ESPP we have at DH's company, since we do 15%, it's a lot. Anyway that money is already earmarked to pay cash for DH's summer school, so next month it'll be gone! poof! We'll be out about $10k of it like that. Ha, I notice this a trend in our life, we make a nice sum, and could use it for a great vacation or something. Instead we just spend it tuition!

Children Working?

If your children work and earn money would you take it to support your family? Would you expect them to pay for household bills?

I read that and couldn't believe that parents would do it. I would like my children to work a few hours and earn spending money, but I would not be charging my children for food, shelter, and transporation unless it was a dire emergency. I would have to be broke and pretty much out on the streets before I would take my children's money for things I consider basic necessities. Above and beyond yes they need to pay for, but basic needs?

I was appalled on a message board that a parent would send their teenage children out to work to help support the family while not working herself. First, I do understand her not working because they have 10 children. I have to add right now all of the 10 children are under 18. None are adults according to the legal limit. But shouldn't her husband get a second job, or she work nights somewhere before sending out their teenage children to get jobs because they cannot meet their bills? That to me is ridiculous to expect your children to bail you out of your mess, while sitting on your tush.

How can any parent allow their child to work say fast food at nights while they sit at home? How can any parent not be delivering newspapers at 3 am to try and make ends meet while allowing their teenager to instead deliver newspaper and then taking the money to pay bills? I know life throws you for loops, but don't parents have a responsibility? Shouldn't they be trying to pay for basics? Otherwise, this might be harsh, why are you having those children?

I guess I'm not very sympathetic, but I would never take my children's money without desperately needing it and working already to the bone. If I expected my children to work and contribute to the household, I would only do so after I had worked as many hours as physically possible. Otherwise I would consider it selfish and irresponsible.

I might be wrong because I'm not a parent. So other parents out there will probably correct me and tell me that kid should at age 14 or 16 pay for a portion of food, gas, groceries. But to me they are still children. They are still my responsibility. And I should be the one working, not them to put food on the table, shelter over their heads, etc.

So yes I am being judgemental but we are not talking about kids who live at home while in college. We are not talking about kids paying for cell phones, fancy clothes, cars, etc. We are talking about basic necessities, ends meet. The problem is that these people cannot afford to feed, clothe, shelter, transport their kids without extra help.